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Space Race Cancelled to Pay for Global Warming

There’s a report of a rumour that NASA have been told by The One to stop mucking about trying to explore space, and work instead on saving Earth from Global Warming.

I realise that this is likely to send Nick into orbit on a burning column of pure apoplexy. He was really looking forward to spending his declining years paragliding in that delightful retirement spot on Titan.

The view from Titan

Looks lovely, Nick. Shame, eh?

It’s probably worth noting that everyone regarded the NASA effort Ares to exemplify the worst of big government procurement – massively over budget and using already outdated technology – and that this doesn’t stop commercial spaceflight efforts. But even so.

It might have been a wasteful way of spending of other people’s money, and it might (had we been American) be that as taxpayers we would be annoyed we didn’t get a choice in the matter, but at least it was being wasted on something we want, as opposed to something we definitely don’t.


There is, on the other hand, a suggestion that some of the money is going to go to commercial space to develop “space taxis”. A lot less money, but in trying to placate the space fans, could Obama have actually made a move in the right direction?! Well, you know what they say about a stopped clock…


  1. NickM says:

    “Ares”. Ares?

    What the bloddy hell were NASA thinking of. Leaving aside the technical issue that it’s an Apollo retread – and it is – one engineer on the official website called it Apollo on steroids… Leaving all that delta v and tech stuff aside it has a critical flaw…

    Ares = Mars which is of course the called for destination. But it is also… Well, let’s yank out the ancient and pederastic geeks. They had roughly three gods/goddesses of war. Athina (Athena – but I go with the more accurate transliteration knowing Greek letters as I do – amazing that a physics degree can help getting from Athens to Sparta – but it does) was the goddess of military tactics and strategy, Athina-Nike was the goddess of running shoes and victory or Usain Bolt as she’s now called and Ares is the god of blood-lust and massacre. Why NASA? Why? Do you not have anyone who has read Bullfinch – Wordsworth Classics – about a quid. Following Columbia spreading itself across three states you’d have thought they would have thought…

    It’s all tommy rot. Just build a goddamn space elevator NASA or a variable-cycle aerospace ‘plane. It’s not rocket science anymore. And in case anyone wants a fight why did UK Gov not invest GBP180m in Skylon? Ruth Kelly managed to rummage down the sofa of state and find half that to bribe Muslims to play nice. Jeezus fucking wept. And don’t even get me started on the grand porking of us all. I had shares in Northern Rock – cue general hilarity coz that’s several grand I ain’t seeing again.

    Bristol Commercial Spaceport is what we could have won. The utterly short-sighted cunts they truly are. Instead it’s gone on diversity fucking co-ordinators and do not even start me on defence spending… Why Bob, why? It now looks like Nimrod MRA4 will remain in bits in hangars in Lancashire. We’re on a fucking island Bob! Maritime recon is not a wish-list item it’s a requirement. We should have just sent a nice email to Boeing to enquire about the P-8 rather than try and keep 60 year-old junk in the skies.

    The elevator is the thing though. The Japs reckon they can do one for $5 billion which is bugger-all money in these days of bail-outs and whatnots.

    Look to the skies- it’s the only way out and I have Dale Amon’s email addy. Don’t you worry PA. You, me and Cats shall enjoy umbrella drinks by the methane shore…

    Or methane drinks by the umbrella shore if it all goes tits up. And it probably will.

  2. Pa Annoyed says:

    Well, they could hardly have called the thing “obsolescent junkyard for unfinished crap”, could they?
    (Does that have a God?)

    £5bn is extremely cheap. How are they planning to get it up there?

    And I’ll look forward to sitting on that methane deckchair. As you can tell from the timestamp on that ‘tourist snap’, I was in bumming around in orbit around the moons of Saturn last night. I’d quite like to see how the real thing matches up.

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