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A Blow Against Justice

A businessman has been fined £60 and had his driving licence endorsed for blowing his nose while stuck in a traffic jam.

Michael Mancini, a furniture restorer from Prestwick, Ayrshire, was given the fixed penalty and docked three penalty points after leaning over and pulling out a paper handkerchief to wipe his nose when stuck in Ayr High Street. Mancini said that his van was in neutral with its handbrake on, and that he was flabbergasted when he was signalled into a parking bay by an approaching policeman.

Matters became “a little bit surreal”, he said, when he wound down his window and was promptly charged by the stern-faced PC Stuart Gray, a man known locally as “Shiny Buttons” in recognition of his zealous attention to detail. “I honestly thought it was a joke,” said Mancini, 39, who was booked for failing to be in control of his vehicle.

“I said, ‘You’ve got to be kidding’. But he was absolutely deadpan. He’s a policeman, so you’re not going to start shouting abuse at him. I thought, ‘What is the world coming to?’ You pick the papers up every day and they are full of horror stories — but this bloke has nothing more to do with his time.”

We have murders, rapes, robberies. We also have runny noses.

PC Gray earned notoriety for doling out a £50 fine to Stewart Smith, another Ayr man, who dropped a £10 note from his back pocket. Mr Smith was charged with littering.

Ladies and gentlemen we have ourselves a fascist! That is beyond human comprehension. Not even Bill Gates goes around chucking the folding-stuff about with gay abandon. Coins, yes, he chucked a few hundreds worth of quarters at Steve Job’s conservatory when Zune was revealed for all to see as the crock it truly was. Some of us know things. Dark things. I, for example, know how to give Ballmer a stiffy in just two words…

Mr Mancini’s first instinct after his arrest last October was to contact the press and express his outrage, but he decided instead to give Strathclyde Police the opportunity to drop the case. They did not, and last week the local procurator fiscal reaffirmed his determination to proceed.

Well they would wouldn’t they? I mean it’s not as if anyone is commiting real crimes in Strathclyde is it. And let’s face it… A middle-aged furniture restorer has a much easier collar to feel than some tooled-up Albanian gangster who is ripped to the tits on crystal meth.

The district court has no power to award costs, so even if Mancini’s case is dismissed, he may face considerable expense.

“It is absolutely crazy, but I have no option but to press on,” Mancini said. “The police must show some common sense. I believe absolutely in road safety, but I am not going to sit back and accept a £60 fine and three points on my licence for something that I didn’t do. I will fight this all the way.”

Good on Mr Mancini!

Bill Aitken, MSP, the Conservative justice spokesman in the Scottish Parliament, condemned the police behaviour as perverse. “Frankly, when this sort of thing happens, it is quite depressing for those of us who wish to uphold the Scottish legal system. This matter should proceed no further.”

Good on Mr Aitken! Except it should go much further. Mr Mancini deserves a full apology and PC Gray deserves to spend the rest of his career valeting the force’s 1.6L Astra diesel squad cars if he’s bloody lucky.

PS. Never utter the phrase “core dump” to Ballmer. I did once and got away with it by spraying him with a pressure-washer but it was a close run thing. You might not be so fortunate. And having his Vista forcibly installed is something I wouldn’t wish on Osama bin Laden. Not that it would install – well, not without much kicking and screaming anyway.

Via The Times.


  1. Sunfish says:

    What was the charge?

  2. Sam Duncan says:

    Not being in proper control of his vehicle, Sunfish. For which I reckon – and IANAL* – that having it in neutral with the bloody handbrake on is pretty much a complete defence.

    *Nearly was, but I had a lucky escape.

  3. Bod says:

    That’s ‘Parking Brake’ to you Sunfish :)

    This was a public service announcement.

  4. RAB says:

    It’s snot funny this!

  5. Rob F says:

    Agreed, RAB. The whole charge is based on a tissue of lies.

    Man-sized, even. With added balm.

  6. RAB says:

    Ok time to get serious.

    One of my families greatest friends was head of the South Wales CID in the 70s.
    He was probably the most respected senior officer, and most decorated (Police Medal, The Police VC) of his generation.
    Had PC Grey been under him, he would have been invited to the great mans office, and after a long and extremely loud monologue from the Chief Super on what the duties of a police officer was, ie to serve and protect the public, not screw them around and persecute them for no reason that any sane person could think of, would be asked if police work was what he was cut out for (quite what job he might be cut out for, now that Concentration Camp guards were out of fashion, is anyones guess)
    It would be stressed to him that promotion was out of the question.
    He would then be given every shit job that the Chief Super could dream up for him, until he finally saw the light, and resigned.
    Ah but that was then, and this is now.
    Now this little rules is rules cunt, would be fast tracked to the higher echelons in no time at all.
    Our Police forces, oops Services, have been politicised by these NuLab bastards, to such an extent that this guy will probably be seen to have been “only doing his duty”.
    The cunt should be fired forthwith. But pigs might fly eh?

    Time to take back control of our “Citizens in uniform” folks, and vote for our Chief Constables so they do what we the citizens think it most important they do, protect and serve the community they police, rather than follow the dictacts of the faceless fascists in Whitehall who are following another agenda entirely. I.E. persecute the innocent because it is so damn easy and profitable, while letting the real bad guys go free, because it is a bit tricky catching real criminals.

  7. RAB says:

    Once upon a time this sort of thing was rightly thought of as hog whimperingly funny, now it is deadly serious, thanks a fuckin bunch NuLab!

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