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Pointless Scare Of The Day

Everyone likes a nice steak. Well, my wife doesn’t because she’s a vegetarian but other than that everyone else does. And everyone who has cooked anything knows that a gas hob is much better than an electric one.

I mean you got control with gas. You get it up to speed with olive oil, salt and pepper on the meat, not the pan, whack your nice bit of sirloin in and turn it right down after you have seared the outside. Two minutes each side (or two and a half if you are some form of homosexualist) with a bit of butter put in half-way through and job done. You will, of course, have the veggies done to coincide with the steak having rested a bit and some finely shredded iceburg lettuce left in the fridge for the previous half an hour to really crisp it up.

Alas, it would appear this fine repast (and the birth right of every true Englishman*) will give you cancer. Some Norwegians have said so and therefore it must be true. Just read this. That shouldn’t be in the the BMJ. That really ought to be in the Proceedings of The Royal Society For Wild Speculation. I’m not even going to fisk it.

Apparently the Researchers of the Meaningless concluded this epic finding in the name of of public health on the basis of frying steaks in margarine and soya oil! It would therefore appear that the Norwegians are still the barbarians they were when they raided Lindisfarne over a thousand years ago.

As a scientifically trained individual** I am gob-smacked that this drivel is taken seriously. Just read the whole thing. It makes Al Gore look like a deserving recipient of the Nobel.

*Freedom of speech, freedom of association, freedom from meddlesome ratbags, just freedom really and a steak dinner. That’s the Nick Party manifesto. Vote Nick. You know you want to.
**The first year physics labs of Nottingham University had the preserved blackboards from when Einstein delivered a lecture on General Relativity (in German) to the bemused aldermen of that fine city in the 1920s. You don’t fake it when you have Albert looking down on you. He was on a visit to see a pal at Nottingham Uni and to take in Woolsthorpe.


  1. RAB says:

    But it is not clear if the energy source or the type of fat used for cooking have any impact on fume content.

    Dear friggin God! So why are you wasting our time?
    No wonder we are all sceptical about AGW with so called scientists pitching up with that kind of crap.

    Electric is pants! The only time I have ever used it was in a flat I had in Nottingham when a student.
    It was so uncontrollable that we just gave up, and as there was a very good chippie right across the road…

    Margarine and soya are banned substances in our house. Butter rules ok.

    And the Norwegians have got some friggin nerve havent they? Look what they like to chow down on!

  2. NickM says:

    “But it is not clear if the energy source or the type of fat used for cooking have any impact on fume content.”

    Bingo RAB! Therein lies the fundamental point.

    As the great astrophysicist Arthur Eddington put it, “Don’t trust any experimental result unless it is confirmed by theory”. Of course Eddington himself ended-up hoist on his own petard when he gave Chandrasekhar a chewing over on the subject of compact stars. Chandrasekhar was right. Anyway, this “research” is utter bollocks.

  3. MTG says:

    I think I ought to mention…..oh, just carry on and never mind…..

  4. Agreed.

    The version in The Metro emphasised that cooking with gas was more likely to give you cancer than cooking with electric.

    How Righteous do you have to be to believe there is a difference between Good Heat and Bad Heat?

    Well, not very – because gas patio heaters have now disappeared from the shops, but you can still get electric ones. Surely, it comes to the same thing?

  5. Plamus says:

    Hmmm… and even ignoring the margarine and soya bean oil abomination… They fried the steaks for 15 freaking minutes. Gee, stop the presses – who would have thought that when you incinerate organic material, it decomposes. If these are, as they claim, “the conditions found in a typical Western European restaurant kitchen”, then I have a great cost-saving tip for the restaurant industry: instead of procuring meat, serve your patrons coal or graphite (or diamonds for the wealthiest) – you would not be that far off in terms of carbonization. Meanwhile, more likely, this is not what your typical restaurant does to a steak, and our “researchers” had a theory in search for supporting data, so had to go Herostratus on poor steaks.

  6. Andrew Duffin says:

    “It makes Al Gore look like a deserving recipient of the Nobel. ”

    Well it was the Norwegians who gave him that prize (yes, it’s not a real Nobel at all), so that is pretty apposite, no?

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