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Meet Ralph…

That is quite a rabbit.

Now there is a point to this other than a piccie of a truly enormous bunny. He’s still growing by the way.

TV medium Derek Acorah, star of Most Haunted, has even had a meeting with Ralph after believing the reason he had grown so big was because he was possessed.

“We are pretty sure our house is haunted by something or other, so Ralph went up to London with friends of ours to meet Derek Acorah,” said Mrs Grant.

“They said it was pretty spooky and he had a good old chat with Ralph about the spirits in our house. He seemed to think Ralph was channelling the spirit of a ghoul.

“It sounds like a load of old nonsense but Ralph isn’t your average rabbit.”

Now there are crooks, liars, fraudsters and charlatans out there by the truckload but nobody comes close to the utterly talentless shyster Acorah.

There is of course another explanation for Ralph’s size. It’s an outlandish one so I expect you not to believe it but I’ll give it my best. Ralph is a Continental Giant by breed. His mother Amy weighed three stone and his dad was a previous holder of the world’s largest rabbit so it just might be genetics.

Or Ralph could indeed be possessed by the spirit of a ghoul. Derek, it’s not that I wish to piss on your combustion here (though I do) but for fuck’s sake man that’s low even by your own abysmal standards. If Acorah really believes that he is so totally unhinged he ought to be locked-up. If he’s just making it-up then he is a fraudulent medium and that is specifically against the law so he ought to be locked-up.

Though perhaps I’m being too tough on Acorah. I mean making that shit up and presenting it with a straight face – “Madam, your giant rabbit is possessed by a ghoul” – is a talent of sorts. I couldn’t do it.

Having said all of that having the world’s largest rabbit and the world’s most blatent liar makes me proud to be British. The Royal Navy no longer rules the seas and the sun has set on the Empire but when it comes to bullshitters and bunnies we’re still king of the hill!

H/T Pavlov’s Cat (who I assume is a normal sized feline)

3 Comments

  1. CountingCats says:

    Now THAT is a pie filling.

  2. RAB says:

    he had a good old chat with Ralph about the spirits in our house.

    Ah so he is a talking rabbit who wears a waistcoat, has a pocketwatch and is always running late too eh? ( saw Alice in Wonderland in 3D last night. Pretty damn cool!)

    I’m convinced out dog is possessed by the spirit of a Skip myself, she will eat any damn thing at anytime!

  3. JuliaM says:

    Someone needs to genetically engineer some six-foot carrots, quickly!

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