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Fantasy Politics


The IEA reckons we need to cut spending by £167 billion minimum. And our beloved parties are discussing £12 billion.

There are rooms large enough to comfortably accomodate pachyderms. They tend to be found in zoos. But you’d need all of Pelennor Fields to hold Sauron’s horde of rampaging olliphaunts. Alas we have a bunch of Denethors in denial or wringing their hands* rather than a plucky Elf archer. Vote The Greenleaf Party – tough on Orcs, tough on the causes of Orcs.

I don’t recall a single election that has been so dominated by a single issue that no major politician actually wants to talk about. It’s a tragedy not just a fantasy.

Perhaps I’m wrong though and iDave actually traded his conservative principles for some magic beans. Or perhaps Vince the Enchanter is actually one of the missing Istari afterall or perhaps Gollum Brown will fall into the Crack of Doom at the last minute clutching the One Ring of Debt and shouting, “My Precious!!!”

Well, we live in hope that someone, somewhere is reforging the shards of Narsil and the Rohirrim are on their way whilst they live in fantasy.

Frankly I have more faith in some imaginary little fellas with furry feet than this shower of useless gits.

H/T Mr E & apologies to JRRT

PS. Whilst checking the spelling of “Pelennor” I found this

*Or as the Peter Jackson version had it demonstrating their inner mental anguish by compulsively eating cherry tomatoes – that’s why the “strategists” aren’t planning any photo-ops at salad bars…

2 Comments

  1. El Draque says:

    Anyone who thinks a cut of £167bn is at all possible in a single year is out of his tree.
    Agreed, £12bn won’t be enough, but it has to be gradual.
    First, because lots of government expenditure comes back to said government in tax.
    Cut too drastically and you end up chasing a widening deficit.
    Second, too much of it is already committed. Closing a project half-way through is wasteful.
    A root and branch assessment of what needs doing by government, and stopping everything else, that’s the way. New Zealand did this; they zero-based every budget, nothing was sacred.
    17,000 forestry employees on the government payroll went down to 17 (yes, 17). And wages for the others went up by 60%.
    It ca be done.
    But not by the IEA and not by our pathetic ruling class.

  2. NickM says:

    “First, because lots of government expenditure comes back to said government in tax.
    Cut too drastically and you end up chasing a widening deficit.”

    Huh? I mean… A few years ago I got a GBP 5 commenerative coin. All the local shop keepers looked at it like a week-old dead fish. So my wife and I used it as a token of credit between the two of us until I finally dropped it at the post office. Government spending money to rake it back in taxes is the ultimate irony.

    “Second, too much of it is already committed. Closing a project half-way through is wasteful.”

    Depends on the project. Typhoon tranche 3B – yeah. Five-diversities-a-day-outreaching-co-ordinating-facilitators being given twenty minutes to clear their desks – no. And if on May 7th it was announced that the numbers claiming JSA had risen by precisely 646 then I would rejoice.

    The odd thing is I’m not saying at all that we ought to wield the axe over the doctors, nurses, teachers, fire fighters, coppers, street-sweepers etc. But we can cut things dramatically and in (as you say) a measured way) but there is a hell of a lot that can be just told (after PM Nick has drinkies with Her Majesty on May 7th) to eff-off by 3pm. I reckon Phil the Greek would stand me a double G&T for that and consider me a capital fellow. Or maybe not. I mean he’s spent most of his life surrounded by flunkies who do fuck all.

    I want evolution not revolution but the only way to get out of the mire is, alas, gonna hurt a lot of people which is precisely why none of the parties are advocating it. They are so preoccupied with gaining power that they dare not mention it.

    I comfort myself that doing anything for power is the same as having none.

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