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Anything you can do…

I recently high-lighted the crass uselessness of US civil servants. It would appear our own dear Foreign Office can still compete at the highest level.

The Foreign Office has apologised for a “foolish” document which suggested the Pope’s visit to the UK could be marked by the launch of “Benedict” condoms.

Called “The ideal visit would see…”, it said the Pope could be invited to open an abortion clinic and bless a gay marriage during September’s visit.

The Foreign Office stressed the paper, which resulted from a “brainstorm” on the visit, did not reflect its views.

“Brainstorm” or some form of seizure?

The document went on to propose the Pope could apologise for the Spanish Armada or sing a song with the Queen for charity.

A source told the BBC News website the individual since moved to other duties had called the group together for “some blue-skies creative thinking about how to make the visit a success”, but their discussions had become “a joke that has gone too far”.

It’s great to know this nation’s foreign policy is being so well-run by the fourth form debating society.

I feel sorry for The Pink Paper. They ran this as their April Fool. Surely they could have got away with a lot more?

The world is truly upside-down when a Foreign Office document is more outrageous than an April Fool skit…

Oh, and the Pink’s joke was orders of magnitude funnier and more believable.


  1. CountingCats says:

    It were naught bar a bad taste joke, which is fine, and doable only because the Vatican don’t issue fatwas.

    More to the point, it is evidence that these guys KNOW Christianity is safe to ridicule, regardless of any drivel about all religions having fundamentalists.

  2. NickM says:

    Even more to the point shouldn’t these people have been doing work. I mean if they’d been chatting down the boozer on their own time fair play but…

  3. Locke says:

    When our useless bureaucracy becomes completely humourless, it’ll be time to start worrying.

  4. RAB says:

    Come on, this is obviously the result of a very long lunch with much liquid refreshment, done by a Civil Servant who is clearly bored out of his mind. It is clearly a piss take big time.
    You have to have worked for the Civil Service to understand the sheer brain numbing pointlessness of most of the job.

    We had a Jury Summoning officer in the Lord Chancellors Office, who was so bored by the Dickensian method of picking a panel by hand out of the electoral register, that he decided to pick an entire panel of birds.

    So come the monday morning, there were three hundred people arriving with names like, Norman Sparrow, Jilly Swan, Bob Crow etc.

    He too was moved on to more interesting duties, sharpish!

  5. P says:

    The scandal here is the simple fact is that this document represents Labour policies.

    The shabby apology offered for this means nothing at all, given that the Labour party directed and politically-corrected underperforming civil cervice departments are implementing these measures fairly effectively anyway and that their masters don’t give a damn about the attitudes of anyone else than themselves.

    Remember that the Labour party have avoided any element of morality in any of their decisions throughout their tenure of power. They instead state that it is a matter of “non-discrimination”.

    From the Catholic perspective the “Civil Partnership” legislation, the adoption reforms and the general attitude of the Government in so many respects is absolutely opposed to their beliefs.

    The Church is a flawed organisation. However, at its core there are some beliefs that are pretty sensible and that many decent people profoundly agree with. The road the Labour has led this country down, experimenting on society in the name of some abstract nouns is unknown. This is dangerous territory and the plurality of people in this country hold objections to many pieces of legislation that have been forced quickly through parliament without real scrutiny, in contrast to nonsensical stuff like the hunting ban which was reviewed by the Lords many times.

    Can you imagine this “Junior Official” being merely transferred to other duties if this had come out about receiving the King of Saudi Arabia?

  6. CountingCats says:


    Believe me, humour or otherwise. The time to start worrying has both come and long gone.

  7. NickM says:

    Yes, P
    It is taking the mick. Would these same wonks have arranged a photo-op for a visiting Muslim leader necking a yard of ale? No. And you know what? They wouldn’t even joke about it.

  8. Bod says:

    Guys, it’s the same thing over here in the US.

    I’m conflicted, I truly am.

    When I see a broken organization/process/system/machine, my first reaction is to fix it. And let’s face it, nothing says ‘broken’ better than this kind of press release. It’s either real policy enacted by idiots, or a fake policy released into the public domain by idiots. Either way, our ‘betters’ are idiots.

    I constantly have to remind myself that when it comes to politics – we’re in ‘Opposites Land’, and that when it comes to your enemies, there’s never a bad time to let them catch their ballsacks in their zippers.

    And there’s the problem. I’m still trying to bring myself to recognize that it’s not the UK’s and the US’ current ‘big governments’ that are bad, it’s ‘democratic government’ – period.

    These people really are our enemies, and it’s not just the personalities involved, it’s the machine itself.

    I find it very hard to twist my mindset to the point where I can concede that something that has taken billions of man-hours to build and maintain cannot and should not be fixed, but pushed off the precipice and cheered as it bursts into flame on the rocks below.

    But I’m getting there.

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