I just heard some bugger scooped 84 Million quids on the Euro Mockery.
Wowsers! What would I do with that sort of wonga?
Obviously, firstly I would give a few quid to my family and ensure through wise investment that me, my wife and our little cat were set until the heat death of the Universe. But that’s only a small chunk of it…
What with the rest? I mean what about the fun stuff? A gaff in London and perhaps another in Florida on the coast. London gaff about 5 mill, Florida… Maybe 3 mill. Plenty still left! An Aston Martin (obviously) but that’s chump change so best make it two with steering wheels on opposite sides. Actually no, maybe a “tweaked” MX-5 perhaps. Anyway forget the motors. I’d have the cash for them in the back pocket of my jeans and though I am a natural scruff the service I would get in the dealership would be close to worship when they saw my Californium debit card. Yeah, forget the motors. With that level of wonga I could arrange to be carried in a titanium palanquin by Dave Cameron and Nick Clegg’s kids as part of the war on childhood obesity.
So what would be my fritterings? I would make some “punt” investments. Space travel, biotech – that sort of thing. I would definitely set-up a scholarship at my alma-mater for poor kids who are good at physics. But my real indulgence would be a plane.
Well, I could be tempted by one of the F-16s that will be entering the market when replaced by the F-35s (if that happens). It would have to be a two holer which means a D I guess. Not a B because that’s like buying an Austin Allegro. Except F-16 – great jet and all that but a couple of flaws… No flaps and a bugger to land because of that and I just don’t really like fly-by-wire which is frankly like tossing-off Peter Mandelson’s joystick – it’s that gay. And ex-Romanian MiG-21 Bisons could be available. Yeah, I’ll buy one of those the moment I decide to amputate my legs with a cheese knife. There can be only one. Now we are talking about me being seriously minted here so the Folland Gnat can go bite itself. I want a T-38 Talon. Handles like a good ‘un and climbs like a teenage rat up Angelina Jolie’s Grand Moff Tarkin on a Saturday night.
And I think I’d have enough on the side to have it fitted with a Mauser BK-27 for the straffing.
So if you had 84 million sponds, what would you buy?