Liam Byrne, the former Chief Secretary to the Treasury, last week wrote a letter for his successor - the Liberal Democrat David Laws - stating: “I’m afraid to tell you there’s no money left.”
Speaking at a press conference yesterday, Mr Laws said: “When I arrived at my desk on the very first day as Chief Secretary, I found a letter from the previous chief secretary to give me some advice, I assumed, on how I conduct myself over the months ahead.
“Unfortunately, when I opened it, it was a one-sentence letter which simply said ’Dear Chief Secretary, I’m afraid to tell you there’s no money left’, which was honest but slightly less helpful advice than I had been expecting.”
The letter - which Mr Byrne claims was meant to be humorous - represents a sign of the stark challenges facing the new Coalition Government to reduce Britain’s record £163 billion budget deficit.
I hope you are laughing Liam. I really hope you are. I hope it’s a real one from the belly because I don’t find it amusing at cunting all. Not in the slightest. If you are ever in a dark alleyway then you should be afraid of what lies in the dark because I’m not wearing my amused face now and neither shall I then.
And there are 61 million of me.
You utterly shameless and profound cunticulatiton of a self-twatulated turdwich of the tribe of proto-simians that lactate the very liquid shit of the she-ocelot herself. You are an utter shit, Byrne. An utter shit.
You, just fucking you (there were others - hell there certainly are others who also deserve boiling alive in the frothing cunt-juice of Cherie Blair - but sometimes it is an idea to just focus on merely one shite-cocktail of a twat-bugle at a time) and to ponder such things…
Such things…
This is my country and during my time it has been buggerfucked to Cuntistan and back and I am slightly annoyed about that. You wouldn’t want to see me when I was really angry.
And what did we get for it Byrne? We got outreachers and co-ordinators and out-reaching co-ordinators of diversity co-ordination. We got all those whilst being taken up the ass by you and all those outreachers didn’t even have the common courtesy to offer us a reach-around.
Because you, you reptard of a of cunticule of an arseblanket, Byrne, you, the epic turd-gargler and twatmeister that you really are, cuntwazzacked my country into this decrapitude of sheer buggeration for which I shall never forgive you even if I had the inclination and Poincare time to do so.
You’re a cunt Byrne. A complete and utter cunt.
Ironically though your final statement whilst in orifice is quite possibly the only truth you have ever told. You’re not just an utter cunt, you’re a blatent utter cunt.
I might add that you’re a twat as well but I think that is superflous for the moment.
I suspect every incoming Chief Secretary gets this letter from his predecessor.
Of course now as in 1979 it is true, and thus a poor joke. The new government is nothing to throw a party over, but I do not envy them the mess they have inherited - though I will have to pay for it. They must keep that quote going, make sure Labour gets the blame and keeps the blame.
Your denunciation, Nick, is superb. Thrice-distilled bile is the only proper reaction to Byrne and the likes of Byrne, short of hempen rope. Those buggers knew what they were doing.
Hempen rope! I was thinking a
eunuchunique meeting with a belt sander and a sulphuric acid enema kit. H2SOphoarrrrrr!!!Note to self - never get on Nick’s bad side.
Spot on with the observations though. Personally, when it comes to doling out punishment to the morally fuckulent kingdom wreckers, I’d reach for the HF but then, being female, I can be a real evil bitch when I put my mind to it.
Brilliant - and surprisingly restrained - invective!
HF? Being female has nothing to do with it. Not every bloke is Mike Tyson when angry. Did you know flayings were generally carried out with the victim inverted to prolong consciousness, Vlad Dracula greased his impaling poles for similar reasons. The Chinese used to dribble milk on the feet of folks and then have goats lick it off. It tickled. It tickled at first… What sort of twistedly brilliant mind devised that one? And then there is the pear of anguish. And the comfy chair!
The comfy chair? You vile brute!
He may all it amusing, most of us would all it high treason.
Good to see Nick’s lyrical invective running hot and true as usual…
When Gurnin Gordon took the keys of No 11 in 1997, either a Treasury Official, or one of his advisors brought him the figures for the national finances.
The Tories have left the Economy in remarkably good shape Chancellor!
He replied, that gentle, dependable Man of the Manse that he is…
What do you expect me to do? Write them a fuckin thank you note!
And as he started, he meant to go on, the self delusionary, sociopathic, violent, petulant fourth rate foul mouthed sack of utter shit that he is.
He sold the gold at the bottom of the market.
He destroyed the Pension funds
He… well add your own till this thread goes of the bottom of the page.
The only good thing he did was to keep us out of the Euro, and he only did that, not out of a sound grasp of Macro Economics, but purely to spite Tony Blair.
We have been ruled by madmen and incompetents these last 13 years, but they do not have the excuse of not knowing what they did, they did it very very deliberately. They set out to destroy this country and have very nearly succeeded.
But if anyone thinks this Butterfly Coalition will save it, they are more deserving of being sectioned than Gurnin Gordon.
“purely to spite Tony Blair”
Oh yes! Blair wanted to be God-Emperor of all Europa and Gordon spiked his guns there. What a bitter pill for Brown to have to swallow that when he at last got the keys (not that actually there are any) to Number 10 Mr Blair would still be his boss. How Blair and Mandy would have pissed themselves with laughter at that one. And how many Nokias would be in orbit!
Lynne,
If you carry on in that vein I shall deploy the soft cushions and perhaps then even the nice cup of tea! It was the tea that broke Rudolph Hess. He wanted a skinny latte but the torturer’s lot is not a happy one.
I’ve been thinking about this for a day or two, and if the government has any brains* they’ll see that it’s one of the dumbest moves any of the last lot ever pulled. And I’ll tell you for why: because whenever Labour starts whining about cuts - and they’ve already started - instead of humming and hawing and muttering something about getting the public finances into shape, they just have to wave the arsehole Byrne’s wee note in their faces. “Lack of money isn’t just some kind of sneaky Tory excuse; you admitted yourselves that there’s no money left.” Publish it far and wide, make sure everyone in the country has heard of it, get it into the public conscience, make it part of the 2010 election narrative.
In one hastily-written sentence, Byrne has holed his party’s entire strategy for the next five years under the water. I bet he won’t be in the running for the leadership…
*Which, of course, they don’t.
There is nothing we can do. These fuckers are in control.
Meet the new boss, same as the old boss.
Nick - I’ll defy you. Even if you utilise the fluffy slippers with pom-poms on…
The fluffy slippers are for amateurs. I shall deploy the trip to the lovely National Trust property incorporating a visit to the cake shop. Then you’ll be ‘fessing it was you afterall in the white Fiat Uno in the Alma tunnel.