Counting Cats in Zanzibar Rotating Header Image

Jeremy Irons Is A Complete Arsehole.

The world is becoming so overpopulated that nature will one day wreak its revenge, claims Jeremy Irons, the actor.

The crap actor. I only saw one movie with him I liked and he got chinned in that one by Bruce Willis – as it ought to be. Anyway, he’s entirely replaceable with Alan Rickman for being Bruced.

Launching himself as a green campaigner, Irons has revealed plans to make a documentary about sustainability and waste disposal, likening himself to Michael Moore, the controversial film maker, although “not as silly”.

That tramp’s mate Moore! Oh, be still my splitting sides! “Not as silly” – setting the bar a little low for yourself there aren’t you Jeremy? Sticking a bassoon up your arse and farting the theme from “Crossroads” would be less silly than anything that scruffy fat cunt ever put on film. Why not adopt the stage name “Woodwind” and see what Ant & Dec think on “Britain’s got Twats”? You shall make less of a fool of yourself.

The increasing global population would put an intolerable strain on the world’s resources, Irons said, and the gulf between developing countries and westerners living a bountiful “pie-in-the-sky” existence must be addressed.

Jeremy Irons has seven homes.

“One always returns to the fact that there are just too many of us, the population continues to rise and it’s unsustainable,” he said in an interview with The Sunday Times. “I think we have to find ways where we’re not having to scrap our effluent junk and are a really sustainable planet.”

Such as perhaps only having six homes Jeremy?

Natural systems of self regulation may stop population growth, he said: “I suspect there’ll be a very big outbreak of something because the world always takes care of itself.”

Jeremy suspects so we must all be afraid. I personally am hording canned goods and digging a hole in the garden for some reason. Samuel Pepys buried his whole Parmesan cheese in the back garden when he saw the Great Fire of London and no surprise there because last I checked the stuff was about 18 quid a kilo at TESCO.

He is seeking funding for a film on sustainability, which he hopes will be in the manner of An Inconvenient Truth, the Oscar-winning Al Gore documentary on climate change.

Oh, Jesus Q Chriscringle on a hybrid powered tricycle! But note the new tilt. Climate change is just so last decade darling! Various munters are muntering on about biodiversity and now population is rearing it’s ugly head again. Green is just a form of puritanism and it will use whatever scare it can muster. It’s like Victorian moralists causing a panic over masturbation.

The 61-year-old actor went on to speculate that either disease or war, “probably disease”, could become nature’s way of halving the population.

Quoth the leading authority on epidemiology. “Jeremy Irons Speculates” – it ought to be on Channel 4 after “Come Dine With Me”.

“We’ll be pulling in a lot of expert opinion and we are in talks for funding,” said Irons. “We hope it will be a movie.”

Oh… Magic. I can’t wait.

The actor, who says he is apolitical although he is a former Labour donor and his wife Sinead Cusack is “deeply socialist”, has already made a plea for action in a short video for an organisation campaigning to end world hunger.

There are things costing half a million quid at the end of beds in ICU called kidney machines that take less piss than Irons.

In a film on the website, Irons declares: “People around the world suffer hunger — 1 billion. Now that’s bad, worse than bad, that’s crazy! We’ve got to get mad. I want you to get mad. I want you to get up right now, stick your head out of the window and yell, ‘I’m mad as hell’.”

You said it Jeremy. And out of which of the windows of which of your seven homes will you be yelling Jeremy? Don’t get me wrong here – I’m not a believer in the fixed wealth fallacy – but Irons clearly is so he is a stinking hypocrite by even his own standards.

“In the West we tend to have smaller families anyway, but in developing countries we need to offer as much technology and medical aid as possible. Whether that can happen before some natural disaster kicks in, we’ll have to see.”

Sterilise the nig-nogs then is it Jezza? I don’t have any kids so when do I get my Merit Badge?

The grimmer alternative, says Irons, is to continue to inflate the richer western economies to bursting point at the expense of poorer nations: “We would have to ringfence those who are starving and fighting over water, keeping everybody out. We’d live in a sort of fortress world, with an area which is fine, with its guarded oil pipe coming from Afghanistan or wherever, but I can’t see that working.”

The ultimate solution, he says, is for us all to live less decadently — growing our own food and recycling instead of replacing goods: “People must drop their standard of living [so] the wealth can be spread about. There’s a long way to go.”

Jeremy Iron’s seven homes include a pink castle in Ireland and he’s telling us to live less “decadently”. Note the explicit fixed wealth fallacy as well. This world is over-populated and Jeremy Irons is a patent example of the sort of well-chiseled twatter we could very easily live without. Of course he is protected because his missus is “deeply socialist” and he is a philosopher-king of the New World Order. Prince Charles is similarly deluded. The point at which I realised that Chuckles was not just mad but a truly evil virtouso upon Shatner’s rusty oboe was when he grabbed his Granny’s gaff after she popped her clogs in hock to the bookies and the gin merchants (that’s how I wanna go) because just having Highgrove would have meant he was “living above the shop”. The sheer unbelievable fucking arrogance of that is awesome. I mean Clarence House is a pretty cool crash-pad for when you’re in London – you utterly unbelievable cunt Chuckles. Yes, that’s the same Chuckles who has praised Islam for it being contra Western “decadence”. That’s fucking easy to say when you have two palaces (we shall gloss over his bizarre desire to be an ugly woman’s tampon for we all know where they end-up – well I do from an A-Level marine biology field trip). Anyway the grim “anti-materialism” of Islam is only paradise postponed to some sort of Vegas knocking-shop in the sky.

Don’t get me wrong. I have nothing against the rich per se. I think it’s pretty cool that Lakshmi Mittal could hire Versailles for his daughter’s wedding. I’m not even citing Mr Mittal because he is self-made but simply because I have never heard Mittal pronounce from on high about how average Joes like me ought to be using less stuff or having fewer kids. It really is the road to serfdom that Irons, Gore, Chuckles and all the rest of them point the way to and that with epic cunts like them as our feudal overlords.

Welcome to the endarkening. We had a reasonable innings.

And we could have been so magnificent.

Do not ever forget that they do this without sacrificing anything themselves or that they can only say this because they are simultaneously nucking futters and truly profound cunts.


  1. Steve says:

    No surprise here. Jeremy is an “Ac-Tor” and like all “Ac-Tors” he is allowed to pretend. Like pretending he has intelligence.

    In the meantime, I worry about the tragedy of disease arbitrarily reducing the population. To think there may be seven houses unoccupied as opposed to only six just makes me want to shout “i’m mad as hell” too.

  2. RAB says:

    What’s the stupid cunt going to call his movie then,
    The Malthusian Candidate?

    Dominic Lawson fisked the twat pretty well here yesterday…

  3. Roue le Jour says:

    But a Tory government would scrap welfare and close down the NHS, thus reducing consumption and shortening everyone’s life. So obviously that’s the way to vote then, right?

    The Malthusian Candidate. Very droll.

  4. DeNihilist says:

    {but in developing countries we need to offer as much technology and medical aid as possible.}

    And the easist way to achieve this is to let these “poor” countries become “rich” countries….


  5. NickM says:

    You talk sense. You’re looking at an IP ban mate. Something these wankshafts (yes, that’s you Bono) fail to get is that the largest and by a long chalk most effective aid program is peeps coming over here and sending their own money home to their family. But we can’t have that because it smacks of capitalism. Instead these black and brown folks must remain pets of our righteous. Do you honestly think any of our righteous really want the average Zambian to have the standard of living of the average Belgian? It would be so inauthentic darhlink! I, on the other hand do, becausse that would be super cool. Imagine Africa as wealthy as Europe… Well, why not? Just imagine it. It might take generations (it did here) but it could happen though it can only happen if we just let commerce fly. And, Jeremy, growing one’s own food helps third world farmers how exactly? You beautifully chiselled twatter.

  6. berenike says:

    “All those poor people! It’s terrible! I can’t sleep at night for thinking about all those millions of poor starving people! … If only there weren’t so many poor starving people! … If only there were fewer of them! If only they would stop reproducing, so there weren’t so many of them, I wouldn’t feel so bad about there being so many poor starving people!”

    I can never think of anything crushing enough, or furiously angry enough, to say to this kind of crap.

  7. DeNihilist says:

    { Imagine Africa as wealthy as Europe…}

    and able to purchase goods that right now they cannot.

    Example – Here in British Columbia, we have relied on the USA for about 90-95% of our lumber exports. With their housing crash, the industry has been hit hard. But then along comes China and I hate to say it, but a few good earthquakes there, And the slow understanding by the Chinese, that wood frame houses stand up to these quakes far better then their traditional homes. With the Chinese nation becoming richer, they can now afford our lumber, and are buying it. Not huge quantities yet, but if it catches on, we will have more markets to sell into thus protecting the lumber industry somewhat.

  8. NickM says:

    Good point. And vice versa. Why should I not type this drivel on a laptop made in Malawi.

    Excellent point. Lets just spay them like the bitches they truly are. People are the problem afterall. The utter poverty of imagination as to what our species can do if only allowed is stunning. I want more people, more stuff. more thoughts, more music, more art. More everything. Let it just rip! It’s gonna be a hell of a ride but isn’t that what what we signed on for? I know I did.

  9. RAB says:

    Well of course it is bleeding obvious that the way to go is to let Africa get rich, obvious to everyone except PC Progressives and major Charities that want to keep them down on the sustainable subsistence, terribly authentic and colourful village farm.

    The attitude of Western Govts and Charities is in fact racist and deeply patronising, but they will never admit it will they?

    Did anyone else watch Welcome to Lagos? A three parter about slum dwellers in Nigeria? It was incredibly uplifting. People working and living on rubbish dumps and the like, working their asses off to get ahead. Building a society that is almost completely untouched or assisted by their Government. Making their own rules and enforcing them amongst themselves, almost a model for a Libertarian society in fact.

    Mobile phones are revolutionising the 3rd World, facilitating massive growth in business that was just not possible before. But the Ist World missed it entirely didn’t we?

    The Chinese didn’t though did they?
    No they are in like Flynn. Giss some of your natural resources, and we will give you some roads and ports and airports and hospitals. Strings attached? Fuck no! We dont care if you are good boy Democrats, we’re not. You may have noticed?!! Do what you like to each other, we just want the copper and the aluminium.
    There is a New World Order being built. It isn’t going to be Democratic but it is likely to be very prosperous for Africa, and the West, racked with post Colonial guilt has completely missed out on it.

  10. Sam Duncan says:

    “… in the manner of An Inconvenient Truth, the Oscar-winning Al Gore documentary on climate change.”

    I don’t doubt it for a second. Full of lies and taken as gospel by the Groan-reading classes.

    I’m mad as hell that all those Africans are poor too, Jez. I’m mad that they have criminal governments that steal all their stuff and prevent them from trading freely with each other. I’m mad that we have stupid governments that prevent us trading freely with them. And I’m particularly mad at fuckwits like you who think all the wealth in the world was just sitting around waiting for someone to grab it, so they’re poor because we happened to get to the good stuff first and didn’t leave anything nice for them.

    Stick to being bad guys in Hollywood movies, Irons, you fucking moron.

  11. Lynne says:

    I’m all for sustainable common sense. And my common sense suggests that carpet bombing the anencephalic, tree hugging arsewipes in Hollywood would be a good start…

  12. NickM says:

    Too right about mobies. There was a post up on SI a while back about Indian fishermen and how they had lads in the local ports who would txt them which port needed which fish. Imagine that in the context of the EU CFP.

    Yes, look at China, look at India, look at Korea. When my parents were at grammar school RoK was medieval. There is a beautiful 32″ LCD panel hanging in my living room made by Samsung. They have come a long way since Hawkeye was doing “meatball surgery”. Yes, look at Korea. In two generations the South hauled itself out of the mud and became one of the most technically sophisticated nations on the planet. Go north of the DMZ and you shall on the other hand find Hell. Have you ever bought anything made in the RoK? Of course you have! Ditto Japan and it’s almost impossible to go shopping and not buy something Chinese. My wife recently bought a microwave – a Sanyo made in China. Have you though bought anything made in the DPRK? Do they make anything anyone wants? I have seen their propaganda videos featuring their military. Bloody hellskis – it’s like watching Sov stuff from c. 1955. It was all superannuated MiGs – give me a squadron of F-16Cs and a load of slammers and it’ll be umbrella drinks at the OC by lunchtime. And they have patrol boats with MLRS. Give me a few Harpoons and we can call it a day. They even had (very impressive to folks who know squat about military stuff) tanks with flame-throwers which looks grand except you seriously wouldn’t want to be in one in the age of IR guided missiles. Hell’s teeth we are way past that. An RAF Tiffy can unleash 24 Brimstones guided by active millimetric radar at a single pass. The Falaise Gap all over again.

  13. Great post. I also blew a gasket when I read this on Sunday. I liked the bit about how he was doing his bit because amongst his many cars was a 13 year of Range Rover. “Why can’t we make cars that last 40 years?” quoth the great man. Actually, there are a lot of reasons, as he will discover over the next 27 years. Rust never sleeps.

  14. Or Jeremy Ironies as Frank Zappa might have called him (Who Is Making That New Brown Cloud?).

    I agree that the pandemic prediction looks very much like wishful thinking on Ironies’ part.

    ““We would have to ringfence those who are starving and fighting over water, keeping everybody out.” Oh, the compassion!

    Er… no we won’t, Jeremy. We’ll have to recognise, belatedly, that border and immigration controls are a threat to world peace and development in a globalised economy. Sorry if that means a few more kebab stalls outside your portcullis.

  15. Two--Four says:

    [...] “Jeremy Irons has seven homes.” (link — Samizdata) Who could even make this stuff up? [...]

  16. Billy Beck says:

    Uhm… that’s “…ment”, as in “Endarkenment”.


    Happy to help.

  17. Alex says:

    Richard Pryor nailed Jezza’s attitude 35 years ago, during the previous overpopulation scare:

    “There’s too many people! I have no place to ride my horsie!”

  18. Gabi Kutej says:

    It isn’t a nice subject matter, nevertheless earlier, rather than later on, your self-reliant person have to know how to handle squander removal in her or his spot. This may supply you with a …waste disposer review

  19. kyle says:

    Jeremy Irons is an actor and a very good one. However, he should stick to just that, because this guy sounds like a moron. If this guy actually did any research on the crap he talks about then he may sound halfway intelligent.

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: