Edward Balls is the last of the contenders for the leadership of Her Majesty’s Loyal Opposition.
I have left him to last because I want to use cuss-words about Balls.
A lot of them.
He is clearly an epic cunt – a profound example of a truly accomplished actor in the cunticular arts. A less savvy blogger than I might say that rather than being the leader of the Labour Party he ought to have his testicular substances gradually crushed. The more astute amongst you will have clocked his bulging eyes and realised this has already happened. Undoubtedly it is more fun than screwing Yvette Cooper but then so is dredging turds from the Manchester Ship Canal.
Ed Balls is the most profound cunt I have ever had the misfortune to come across. There are things – things – scuttling along the bottom of the Mariana Trench on raggedy claws that aren’t as low as Ed Balls. I only put off giving Balls a kick to his low-hanging fruit for so long because it’s almost cruel (but I am cruel). I mean he just can’t help himself can he? He was born a cunt and has only become more of a cunt over time. It is sad but inevitable for cuntishness is, alas, one of those diseases that is sadly progressive and there is no known cure or even treatment beyond the judicious application of a 2×4.
And that only brings temporary, symptomatic relief to the dispenser. Alas.
Ed Balls is so low he’d need a step-ladder to bugger a dachshund.
That is just how low the verifiably cunticulated fuck-bugler is.
I hope he wins for that shall bury the Labour Party for all time.