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The Bansturbatory Round-Up

AKA – “The Circle Jerk”

There’s a few…

Drinking alcohol on all public transport – including cross channel ferries!

Sugar in hospitals – just Wales so far but recall the smoking ban started in Scotland?

Selling half a dozen eggs.

Drinking games.

Smoking in cars with children and “potential” play grounds.


Sunbeds – because some slag was stupid. Note the Daily Fail comments.

Trans fats – whatever they are – salt and saturated fats.

Saying you find breastfeeding, “creepy”. Yes, someone said that saying that, “shouldn’t be allowed” (presumably whilst tripping over her earth-mama duggs).

These bansturbators… It’s gone well beyond political action. They ought to be put on tumbrils and dragged through the streets to the pyre.

I’m moving to Saudi Arabia. I think It’ll be more fun.


  1. Bod says:

    I saw the ‘eggs edict’ yesterday and I had to check my calendar to make sure we were in June and not April.

    I was going to do a NickRant (TM) myself and then decided there was no point – the whole thing’s beyond parody to begin with.

    I pity the hen that lays eggs with a mass that fall outside of government mandated limits.

  2. Sunfish says:

    Trans fats are a real health issue.

    In layman’s terms: oils heated past a certain point get chemically changed slightly. The new product, the trans-fat (as opposed to the cis-fat) has the same nine calories per gram as any other fat. However, it also (in most people) will increase serum cholesterol. By some accounts, it has a greater effect than does dietary cholesterol.

    Which doesn’t translate to a justification of a ban. Everybody knows that you don’t eat greasy food if you’re trying to be heart-healthy, except apparently the people who are so damn dumb that they need 5-a-day coordinators.

    Anyway, time to indulge my inner health-and-safety-guy with gunfire followed by cigars and whiskey.

  3. Stonyground says:

    The evil ones are back to pressing for a blanket 20mph speed limit in all built up areas as well. Apparently it will save the lives of lots of children. I am so pleased that my 35 year 100% safe driving record will be improved.

  4. RAB says:

    Oh my god Mark, that is utterly ridiculous.

    Substitute the word Television for almost any other human activity.
    I await the wanking kills study with baited breath!
    “If only our Johnny had cut down from four to one hour a day he would still be with us! sob.”

  5. Bod says:

    Well, I can understand that sitting watching the World Cup could be hazardous to your health. 90+ minutes of watching that crap, and I’d be ready to gnaw my own leg off in utter boredom.

  6. Rob Fisher says:

    I know I shouldn’t be surprised by this sort of thing, but I am.

    what would be a reasonable penalty for treating infants as parasites and depriving them from the most basic natural rights?

    are there still people disputing that breastfeeding is the best investment in children health?

    there is a big difference between the right to free speech and compromising the health of the most vulnerable

    shutting down such publications would not be an over-reaction. it’s the least we can do to prevent further harm to our collective health

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