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Quick, hide your knickers under the bed!

It turns out in the UK the council can spy on who you’re (assumed) to be having sex with.

To those of you lucky enough to not be au fait with UK local government the Council Tax is a levy that our locally elected parasites piss up the wall and use to empty your bins – sometimes. When we lived in Manchester the council saw fit to (partially) fund “Islam Expo – a Call to Humanity” but couldn’t be arsed to take my bust fridge away (I torched the fucker in the end – filled it with scrunched-up junk mail and dead aerosols and it went-up like Hiroshima). To return the courtesy I couldn’t be arsed to tell them my girlfriend had moved in with me. This ensured the 25% single-occupier discount on the Council Tax remained.

Rotherham, Greater Manchester:

A surveillance dossier used by the Labour-run Rotherham council shows permission has been given to inspectors to use “drive-past surveillance”, sweeping round and round the block for a glimpse of lovers staying overnight.

Thurrock, Essex:

Claimants of a 25% discount for single people in Thurrock, Essex, have to sign a form authorising “the council or its agents to make inquiries to corroborate this claim” and “inspect the property”.

Socially inadequate? Tired of inflating your “girlfriend”? Into stalking? refused credit on “used” Japanese school-girls panties on the internet? Join the Council and rootle through people’s dirty washing and sniff their panties and get paid for it!

Jeebus Hornblower fucking Crimbletide on turbojet-powered moped who the bastarding-hell do they think they are? The fucking KGB? I am waiting for someone to give one of these preverts a righteous hoiking up the bracket (and elsewise).

But wait…

It gets worse

Councillor Tim Young said: ‘We are entitled to take photographs of people who have committed an offence – we have checked and it is all above the law’.
[...]
Earlier today it emerged that security guards and town hall workers were being armed with sweeping police-style powers.
For a few hundred pounds, state and private sector employees can receive Home Office accreditation.
This allows them to hand out fines for a raft of offences, from dropping litter to riding a bike on the pavement.
They can also stop cars to check their tax discs, seize alcohol from underage drinkers and demand people’s names and addresses.

[Emphasis mine]

…And thus it starts. Not with the big-stuff but the little. Years ago the British adult comic Viz had a strip called The Bottom Inspectors – a collection of uniformed quasi-fascists who kicked people’s door down in the middle of the night to check if they’d wiped properly. They were often thought to represent the SS or the Stasi. They were actually based upon the ticket inspectors on the Tyneside Metro. Well that’s what Chris Donald, co-founder of Viz, said anyway.

I’m beyond wanting the bastards out of office. I want to get positively Wallachian on their asses.

H/T Obnoxio the Clown and the newsagent (I only went in for a Coke).

4 Comments

  1. ‘…and it is all above the law’

    Freudian slip perhaps?

  2. DavidNcl says:

    The actual bottom inspectors where Dr Marietta Higgs and Dr Geoffrey Wyatt who used the absurd “anal dilation test” in the “diagnosis” of over a 100 cases of incest and sexual abuse. All bollocks, many lives ruined by the state. There’s shed loads about this, here’s a starting point:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cleveland_child_abuse_scandal

  3. NickM says:

    Yeah, I noticed that too. Really I did.

  4. RAB says:

    Well I hope these Local Councils have thought it through!

    And increased their Insurance Premiums a whole lot.

    Because they are going to get a lot of claims from whineing types with bloody noses, who have bought these licences to be a prod nosed bastard, for £400 a pop, when the plebs prod back.

    There was a recent case, where a lady who had objected to a couple of youths smoking on the platform of a train station.
    So these yobs chucked her onto the track!
    Now you envisage an underground station dont you? Shit I smoke, and even I didn’t smoke down there, too hard to breathe already.

    Well that was the tabloid version anyway.

    But when you get to see the station (an overland branch station, completely open to the elements) then you get a pang of sympathy for the tossers(as it were ;-) ).

    There may be a lot of it about soon,
    even if The Cameroons win the next election.

    All politicians are control freaks.

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