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Taking French Leave of Our Senses…

I saw this on the front page of the Times today but, dear reader, you’re going to have to put up with the Mail version because I shall be arseholed with an Abyssinian disembowelling cutlass before I pay Murdoch a red cent.

Apparently the word on the street is that the Royal Navy will be pooling it’s resources with our Froggie chums.

Dear Sweet Jesus of the Bastarding Fuck! The French! The fucking French!

Have we ever once done well (when not fighting the garlic-munching degenerates) allied to the French? Ever? Try Mers-el-Kébir for example. The Frogulent types are still cut-up about that. Well, fuck ‘em! Those ships would have been handy at the time if Admiral Darlan had had the balls for the fight and the fight on the right side – little Vichy arsehole he truly was. But no! France just collapsed in 1940 like a soufflé in a cupboard, rolled over and let the Hun tickle it’s tummy. In over a thousand years of English history we have fought worse than the French but we have never yet managed (on a number of occasions) to have a more perfidious ally.

Oh, and I probably should add that Anglo-French carrier ops are totally different and we have no capacity for real inter-operability. Not that will matter a jot to that pair of prize cunts iDave and The Sarcophagus.

It’s a good thing Admiral Nelson is dead because this would fucking kill him.

11 Comments

  1. Lynne says:

    One of the Mail commentors wrote, “Charles de Gaulle aircraft carrier..1 forward gear 10 reverse.”

    Kinda says it all…

  2. john in cheshire says:

    Isn’t this part of the bigger plan to handover our armed forces to a European Union force(s)? And once that happens, God help us because the next thing to happen will be the deployment of foreign forces in this country to quell any and all resistance to the EU socialist state.

  3. Valleysmam says:

    Dont be daft the fishermen would blockade us and there is no way any of our navy would wear those silly pom pom hats

  4. Bill Sticker says:

    You are being assimilated into the greater European collective. Do not panic. Your feelings of defencelessness are mere paranoia. Just take the prozac and all will be well.

    Heh, heh, la vengeance pour Trafalgar et Waterloo finalement mes artichauts Anglais!

    More seriously; another slice off the salami of greater European integration. If I didn’t believe in conspiracies I’d think the UK powers that be were doing it on purpose.

  5. RAB says:

    Well of course it’s on purpose Bill, but if they ever have go to war it will be a complete and utter lash up.

    Je suis une Top Gun!

    Fuck off Pierre!

    Repetez en Francaise si vous plait Rosbeef!

    My wife works here and she is fed up to the fuckin back teeth with it…

    http://www.arrc.nato.int/

    We were having a chat the other day, and I was saying to her, “Rapid Reaction Force eh? What kind of planes do you have coming in and out then?”

    Helecopters, she said.

    What, no Hercules or Galaxy’s?

    No the strip is far to short for those.

    So what fuckin idiots relocated the Rapid Reaction Force to a place where they cannot rapidly react from? Look no further than most of the utter waste of spaces that fill up MOD Abbey Wood.

    We are doomed folks, doomed!

  6. El Draque says:

    Not sure I agree with the above.
    First, a/c’s cost so much that it would actually make sense for Europe to have its capability pooled. So Germany and so on actually pay for those two monsters. We can’t use them for anything controversial without permission from Brussels, so they might as well pay for them.
    Right, though, about the near certainty of it being an operational nightmare. They can’t be used by both sides because the systems onboard as well as all the training methods are different.
    The French, by the way, never handed over any ships to the Germans. In 1942 (or 43?) they obeyed their sealed orders issued by Darlan and burned or scuttled their remaining ships.
    Though Churchill was of course right to order the attack at Mers El Kebir. We couldn’t take the risk.
    It would certainly have been best if they had joined us. Cheese-eating .. . etc etc.

  7. Kinuachdrach says:

    Oh for the days when hearts of oak ruled the seas! When Francis Drake had time to finish a game of bowls before offing the enemy. When Spanish ships sank to the bottom of the Carribean and French ships sank to the bottom of the Mediterranean under the weight of English guns.

    Seriously, folks. Before you spend money on the military, ask yourselves — who is the enemy? And what forces do we need to dissuade/defeat said enemy?

    Throughout the period when BritNavy was bigger than the next two fleets put together, the enemy was — Eurotrash. Sometimes in a Spanish flavour, sometimes French, sometimes German. But always European. Yes, the Brits would happily kick the crap out of the Turks from time to time, just for practice. But even the Turks are now semi-official Eurotrash.

    So if Europeans are now our friends, what need does Britain have for any navy? The old enemy is no more.

    Today’s enemy might be Islamicists. But dear old Blighty invites them in, along with their four wives, and gives them benefits and housing allowances and looks the other way when they decide to build a chemistry lab in the back garden. No navy in the known universe could do anything about that internal enemy.

  8. NickM says:

    Kinuadrach,
    The Eurofighter Typhoon entered RAF service in 2005. It’s origin was ann Air Staff Target from 1971. You can’t just prepare for the current war or even the next one. Our Type 22 and Type 23 Frigates (fairly new at the time of the Falklands) are slated to remain in service through most of the 2020s. An island nation which is dependent on trade – we have always been primarily a trading hub – needs a strong navy. And ED it has to be independent. It was in ’82. No way the EEC as then was would have done Jack to get the Falklands back. Fishing rights, potential oil, our claim for a slice of Antarctica… These things matter. As did the principle and quite frankly the Argentinians ought to thank us for precipitating the collapse of a very nasty regime. I guess actually the fact that the Falklands was the last huge deployment of the Royal Navy also goes against Kinuachdrach’s point. Call the Argentinians what you like but Eurotrash doesn’t really fit the bill.

    Home grown Islamicists are not in any case a defence matter in the strict sense of the word. A policing and MI-5 matter, yes. But no conventional military force is any use because that’s a different job. Unless of course you want to have Challenger tanks rolling down the streets of Bradford…

  9. Kinuachdrach says:

    Nick — you make a good point about the Argentinians (transplanted Europeans tho’ they be). But we have to recognize that BritNav today is not the British Navy of the early 1980s. And it is not just the loss of military ships — it is the loss of the British commercial fleet which back in the 1980s was pulled into service as transport vessels.

    Bottom line — Blighty today could not do what it did a quarter-century ago. And if Britain wants to rebuild that capability (for the good reasons you cite), it is going to take a lot more than another aircraft carrier to do it.

    The world has moved on. Britain today could no more retake the Falklands than retake Hong Kong. And if Brits decide they want to have effective military forces again, Brits will have to steel themselves to pay the price. Literally steel themselves, starting with rebuilding the steel industry, the shipbuilding industry, the educational system, and (most importantly) pride in their history.

    To do that, Brits would have to toss out a lot of modern nonsense, of which fear of evil CO2 is only the least item. To pay for what is needed, other things would have to go — such as Affirmative Outreach Equal Opportunity Coordinators and all the rest of the garbage you see advertised in the Gruaniad.

    It could be done. Maybe it should be done. But until Brits wake up and decide to do it, complaining about sharing an aircraft carrier with Les Francais is just a waste of time.

  10. Sam Duncan says:

    I’d forgotten about this. The invaluable Richard North hadn’t.

    “The whole thing is a done deal and has been since UK and French defence ministers (ours was Portaloo, I think) signed an agreement in 1996.

    … the agreements have already been signed. And Cameron has just made it certain. All those little Tory Boys who voted for him should hang their heads in shame.”

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