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Bill’s soggy biscuit.

We have all lost things. I once misplaced my Maglite for months. I still rue the day I lost a fiver…

But it’s only a torch (which my wife found) and a fiver (which was only a fiver).

This though is something a bit more serious. It would appear Bill Clinton lost the nuclear launch codes.

The President realised he’d lost the codes the day after the Monica Lewinsky scandal first hit the headlines.

Am I the only one that thinks Bubba getting a blow job from the staff is a lot less important than losing the nuclear launch codes? It is the conflation here of the two that fries my shallots. Was one seen as a cover for the other and if so which way around? I bet they aren’t happy in The Kremlin to only learn this one now. “Look Pyotr Ivanovich I told you we could have taken ‘em in the ’90s but…”. Bill ought to have given the codes to the missus. Not the only thing he should have given to the missus but…

I do still believe in a place called Hope. Blind hope. Bloody Hell! I mean it’s not the car keys down the back of the sofa is it?

8 Comments

  1. Lynne says:

    It’s quite possible he used the plastic biscuit thingy to trim “that” cigar, lodged it in Monica’s decolletage for temporary safe keeping and then forgot about it in the heat of the moment…

  2. Bod says:

    Most of the Clinton apologists I know don’t see this as a big deal. They’d claim all the other ‘less hawt’ presidents were so stupid, they couldn’t have read the numbers out anyway.

    They’re more focused on the fact that people like me wanted to pursue impeachment on a trivial issue like perjury.

    “If you’d been caught out in an embarassing situation like that, you’d want to lie too!”

  3. Sam Duncan says:

    Clinton and Carter. Has anybody checked Obama’s pocket’s lately?

    Bod, Clinton apologists still get on my wick. Yes, in a similar situation I would want to lie too. And it would be illegal too. Gits.

    Thing is, at the time I assumed that the whole Lewinsky thing was a deliberate, well planned, ploy to divert attention from Whitewater, the alleged links to drug cartels, and possible conspiracy to murder. But then he went and screwed it all up by perjuring himself. The only logical conclusion, especially after this latest revelation, is that he’s just a big dumb doofus after all.

    Mind you, at least he wasn’t a Marxist. Credit where it’s due, eh?

  4. RAB says:

    The thing about Clinton is that I think I could go out on the razz with him for an evening and have a bloody time, well certainly as opposed to Dubbya and Obama. And Carter, christ! the evening would end with a prayer for the sins we may have committed in our hearts! leave alone the ones we actually got up to.

    But I wouldn’t trust him with a country or a corner shop for that matter, over the weekend and expect it to be solvent when I came back.

    Whitewater was such a piddling thing wasn’t it? I mean the amounts of money showed a total lack of imagination.

    If you read Primary Colours, written by his chief aide in the run up to him being elected, that shows that any brains, thrust and ambition, all came from Hilary.

  5. RAB says:

    Ahem, that’s a “bloody good time” !

  6. mike says:

    “Thing is, at the time I assumed that the whole Lewinsky thing was a deliberate, well planned, ploy to divert attention from Whitewater, the alleged links to drug cartels, and possible conspiracy to murder.”

    That the Clintons were allowed to get away with what happened in 1993 was the really disgraceful thing about the Lewinsky affair.

  7. Sam Duncan says:

    Did I really spell that “pocket’s” yesterday? There is no penance too harsh, frankly.

    Anyway… yes Mike, to that extent it worked I suppose. But the perjury wasn’t a smart move.

  8. NickM says:

    I think the point is not that Clinton lied. It is more that he lawyered. Badly. What is the definition of sexual relations? Can I give you a working one. That which if you do with someone who is not your wife and you are married you’d best get mighty good at the “duck and cover method”. It was the pathetic nature of the lie. The allegedly most powerful man on the planet quibbling about the meaning of “if” in a sentence. Oh, and Monica Lewinsky is hardly a prize. I mean she’s a bit of a hound really. JFK (and RFK) doinked Marilyn Monroe and even Teddy lost his no claims bonus on a reasonable looker but Lewinsky… She really was a pig in knickers. I doubt she’s got more comely over the years. It’s only moderately less understandable than Bill getting a buggering and reach-around from Al Gore. Just play with that thought. In the Oval Orifice. I’d best stop. It will only get much, much worse.

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