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The Fist of God

Is this genuine?

The sex act called fisting is a source of confusion and misconceptions for many Christians. This is unfortunate, because it means that many Christian men and women are depriving themselves of what could be the most spiritual sexual experience of their lives. Like anal sex and BDSM, fisting is often mistakenly associated with the gay community or is considered a sex act too extreme to be appropriate for Christian couples. Not only are these views incorrect, but fisting actually has a scriptural precedent, as we will show.

The whole website is a hoot. The stuff on threesomes, masturbation and an agenda for Christian porn are…

… Awe inspiring. To say nothing of the idea that anal sex is a a suitable way to preserve a hymen for the wedding night.

Suffice to say this is almost certainly NSFW.

PS. I honestly found this totally accidentally.

24 Comments

  1. Lynne says:

    Laffing! This site, or something very like it, has been around since at least 2003. How do I know? Because one of my fellow bloggers on the sadly, long defunct Rant of the Week, highlighted it. He reckons he stumbled across it by accident too…

  2. NickM says:

    Really Lynne. Total accident. Seriously. I can’t recall what I was looking for but not that.

    Same way I found GodHatesFags.com

    When I found that one I emailed the local paper in Topeka, KS and got a nice reply from a sub saying, “Unfortunately Fred Phelps is for real”.

    If you want some rant space here let me know.

  3. Talwin says:

    Perhaps it’s a long running mis-print for the word fasting. There’s lots of that in the religion thing.

  4. El Draque says:

    I recall clearly (long before the Internet) that a Christian minister in the USA (of course) wrote a totally serious sex guide for Christians. The memory cell says it was called “Intended for Pleasure” and asserted that the Bible (Song of Songs) sets out the perfect sex position.
    Never saw it in the shops, and of course – ho ho – I wouldn’t need such a thing, would I?

  5. permanentexpat says:

    Crumbs! I really am a simple soul….but always logged in on the learning mode. However, I was not aware the God had given ‘fisting’ His approval…but what do I know?
    We may soon learn that it’s double the pleasure, double the fun if you fave a Fistula…..with God’s blessing of course.

  6. Chuckles says:

    El D,

    ‘the Bible () sets out the perfect sex position’

    Presumably a sort of ‘missionary position’ then?

    This triggers lots of memories of Peter Cook sketches, probably not what the sites creators intended.

  7. NickM says:

    ‘the Bible () sets out the perfect sex position’

    Clearly a part of it I missed.

    Oddly enough a number of US States (including “liberal” California) technically had sex in anything other than the missionary position as illegal until quite recently*. I think Florida as well. This website of course amused me because… It almost gets there. It’s just the weird prescriptive nature of the thing were it falls down (on the left – Peter Cook again). I can’t honestly think of a single Christian I have ever known who regarded the Bible as a guide to sexual technique rather than sexual morality. The two are of course different things. The first is logistics and the second personnel so to speak.

    *I think it was that evil old “conservative” George W Bush who had the various state “sodomy” laws stricken. Something Bill never got round to mainly because…

  8. RAB says:

    Heavens to mergatroid!

    Does Rowan Williams know about this? This is the sort of thing to get bums back on pews pretty sharpish!

    Our sermon today is of the Good Samaritan. He did not passeth by on the other side of the Dogging ground, but joineth in the joyous Spiritual Communion…

    Nah, it’s got to be a spoof surely?

  9. El Draque says:

    The Song of Songs was nearly struck from the Bible because it is openly expressive of sensual delight.
    Obscure in symbolism though, unless deer springing on hilltops mean anything to you.

  10. banned says:

    An ideal tool to enable Faith Schools to Celebrate Gay History Week

  11. JuliaM says:

    “PS. I honestly found this totally accidentally.”

    Compared to this chap, you’ve nothing to worry about… ;)

  12. NickM says:

    RAB,
    I think sitting on a pew is the last thing the hard-core fister wants.

  13. John B says:

    There is a basic misunderstanding here.
    The joy, the ecstasy, the perfect delight in the presence of God is somewhat beyond what we can understand.
    Sex is an indicator but with the attendant human limitations is a bit of a compromise.
    The whole way we view ecstasy will, I think, be overtaken by something that is, indeed, beyond our understanding at the moment.
    Not to knock sex, but you know, there are rides in a fair ground, and rides in a Mach2 jet.
    The hypocrites of His day tried to trip Jesus up with similar concepts and this is what He had to say:

    Ye do err, not knowing the scriptures, nor the power of God.
    For in the resurrection they neither marry, nor are given in marriage, but are as the angels of God in heaven.

    Admittedly this was in answer to a somewhat different question but it covers the same ground.
    (The question had been: Master, Moses said, If a man die, having no children, his brother shall marry his wife, and raise up seed unto his brother.
    Now there were with us seven brethren: and the first, when he had married a wife, deceased, and, having no issue, left his wife unto his brother:
    Likewise the second also, and the third, unto the seventh.
    And last of all the woman died also.
    Therefore in the resurrection whose wife shall she be of the seven? for they all had her.)

    It’s an attempt to subvert the miraculous and the realities of the spiritual world.
    Like Mary having sex with the angel.
    The reality is that it’s a whole lot more than what these lines of reasoning or “narrative establishment” are trying to assert.
    Like the other one that says the good guys are going to have their very own 72 virgins in paradise.
    It is very simply a whole lot better and awesome than that.
    As long as you cross the Bridge.

  14. permanentexpat says:

    Where’s the ecstasy in being a glove puppet?

  15. El Draque says:

    Anyone who thinks it’s anything to do with being a glove-puppet or a marionette has clearly not read the Hebrew prophets.
    Rabbi Heschel is very good on the subject, every Christian should read him.

  16. Plamus says:

    My humble contribution to this high-brow discussion – makes you wonder about that burning bush that Moses was “talking” to, doesn’t it?

  17. Simon Jester says:

    Weirdly enough, Plamus’ contribution used to turn up on the US Amazon site when searching for “Pointers in C”.

  18. NickM says:

    Plamus, that very chance to buy that book via amazon once dropped into my mailbox from an office-mate. I clicked over not thinking anything and then saw it. She was laughing like a drain.

  19. permanentexpat says:

    “Anyone who thinks it’s anything to do with being a glove-puppet or a marionette has clearly not read the Hebrew prophets.”..writes el Draque.
    Oh dear!
    My remark had SFA to do with prophets, Hebrew or other….I’m not going to spell it out.

  20. Lynne says:

    Nick, I sent you an email yesterday but it’s just bounced.

    So I’ll accept your offer to allow me an occasional rant here instead.

    :D

  21. I remember reading somewhere that St Teresa of Avila dedicated herself to a life of prayer and fisting. Now it all falls into place.

  22. JuliaM says:

    “Nick, I sent you an email yesterday but it’s just bounced.”

    The site seems to be doing some odd things – I made two comments on this post, they were both ‘accepted’, but never showed up! I thought it might be because they had links, but I’ve never had that problem with links before….

  23. Bod says:

    I think there’s a fair chance that a thread titled “The Fist of God” has Godwinned the site.

  24. Paul Marks says:

    My comment is the same as always – in politics stick to rolling back government spending, taxation and regulations.

    Any effort to preach morality from the state is more absurd than anything to be found at the “Fist of God”.

    Fortunately most (although not all) conservative Christians are comming round to that point of view. Media smear campaigns may be successful (as some unfortunate cases yesterday showed), but they are still smear campaigns – i.e. not an accurate representation of the opinions of he people they were attacking.

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