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Unsuitable for readers of a nervous disposition

This is bloody terrifying.

The UK will cut its greenhouse gas emissions by 60% by 2030 under world-leading proposals from the government’s advisers on climate change.

Achieving the target proposed by the Committee on Climate Change requires a complete revamp of the nation’s electricity market, making it virtually zero-carbon, as well as an overhaul of heat-leaking homes and the replacement of petrol-driven cars with 11m electric or plug-in hybrid models.

This is, of course, impossible.

“We are recommending a stretching but realistic fourth carbon budget and 2030 target, achievable at a cost of less than 1% of GDP.”

This is, of course, bollocks. It’s as if they have alzheimer’s and can’t remember what they just said. You’re going to insulate everybody’s houses and replace all the cars in the entire country with more expensive ones, remember?

But that’s not the worst of it. Oh, no. They’re going to resurrect Gosplan:

“We have had the most liberal electricity market in world – which had some benefits in a different era,” said Kennedy. The market must be more “planned” he said …

Have these utter fuckwits learned nothing from the last hundred years? Will nobody spare us from these turbulent totalitarians? Life as a grizzled prospector in a log cabin somewhere in Alaska is looking more attractive by the minute, only I’m not very good at grizzling.

By the way, I’m not much of a Groan reader (my blood pressure couldn’t take it); I’ve never seen so many comments removed by moderators. They don’t like it up ‘em, do they?

H/T: EUref.

8 Comments

  1. mike says:

    I know exactly how you feel – just looking at a newspaper, any newspaper, is fucking horrible. But give it a few weeks and I might have re-accumulated enough mojo to actually read the evil gibberish.

  2. NickM says:

    Or we could just build some nuke plants and tell the 2018 and 2022 World Cup Holders to fuck off. I mean we could. My Grandfather’s generation invented the technology. Is that too easy? I am sick to the back cunting teeth of being told how to live my life by twats who did Politics, Philosophy and Wankernomics at Oxford and don’t know how to wire a fucking plug yet feel the need to hold forth on electricity. Twats, cunts and tossers the lot of the fuckers. If these toss-pots think Maxwell’s equations are how some peasant makes them a cappuccino then they ought to fuck off royally.

    I am piggy-rotten sick of these twats. They ought to be shot. Maybe disembowelling them with blunt twigs would be more carbon-neutral – their choice. Doesn’t iDave have a fucking windmill on his gaff? Twat.

    As a Geordie it makes me mad as hell. My Granddad was a pit shot-firer. I despair. We used, you see, to regard affordable energy as a good thing. Not only did my Granddad hew coal out from under the North Sea which is obviously wicked but he had the first TV on the street. You see back then people believed in progress through the application of energy. You know that physical quantity that like makes shit happen.

    Green is thoroughly evil because it is destroying the greatest civilization even the lads and lasses at Jodrell Bank have ever witnessed. But no! We stand on the cusp of greatness and are heading back to the fucking yurt. It is a betrayal of epic proportions perpetrated by wankers. Great empires fell to extremely well-ordered light cavalry. Ours is falling to twats so what does that make us?

    I honestly will not be happy until the likes of Porritt and Monbiot are hung by whatever serves them as bollocks. We are going backwards. In 1984 I got my first computer. A 48K Speccy. I now have 3.7 PCs (roughly) but if I have kids they’ll have to make fucking do with a fucking Fairtrade abacus. This is why I blog. This doesn’t happen on my watch because I want my future back.

    I was born four years after Neil, Buzz and Mike took an excursion. Why oh cunting why was that our apex? Why are we listening to tie-dyed GROLIES with beards?

    Why?

    Why?

    Why?

    I am upset.

    Us Brits created the Industrial Revolution and now we are in the front rank of those that would destroy it. I grew-up walking distance from George Stephenson’s cottage. I suppose those that follow me will grow-up walking distance (without shoes, obviously) from George Monbiot’s palace.

    Cunt! That is all I can say. Cunt, absolute fucking cunt!

    Cunt!

  3. This climate change shit is getting beyond a joke. Can’t we just throw these people in a mental home and be done with it?

  4. Sam Duncan says:

    Right with you, Nick.

    “This is, of course, impossible”, though a common phrase, was a deliberate reference to Hitchhiker’s. The Golgafrinchan Arks were a bloody good idea, only Adams got the names wrong. Instead of a “B” ark, we need a PPE one. Then we start on the MBAs.

  5. Chuckles says:

    Mummy, what did we use for lighting before candles?

    It was called electricity darling.

  6. Lynne says:

    If we carry on down this road we’re going to have to kill the fuckers. It’s a matter of our survival and if it’s a case of us or them then I chose us.

  7. RAB says:

    These coccooned cretins that believe they are our leaders, have absolutely no idea of how catastrophic their eco navel gazing is going to be. They actually believe that the fuckin windmills and the solar panels will save us! Boy are they in for a shock!

    There may very well be hounds and torchlight together with honest rather irate folks armed with pitchforks, on their midnight trail this time round.

    The lights will start to go out inside 5 years as Booker has been saying for yonks.

    Now I lived through the last blackouts as a student in Nottingham in the early 70s. They were a pain in the ass, especially as the power always magically went out just as Clapton was just getting into his stride with a solo on Love the One You’re With. Woooor…

    But the thing was that although the shops and stores, pubs and restaurants were lit with candles and hurricane lamps, trading carried on. Cash money going into manual tills, pubs with gravity pumps so the beer kept flowing…

    Ah but this time! Every fuckin thing in this world is computerised now, down to the till in your corner shop. When the power goes off this time we are completely fucked.Nothing but nothing is going to work, and people are going to be mightily pissed off about it.

    Forget the spirit of the fuckin Blitz ( though the Govt will try to sell it as that), when people cant access their emails, they are going to want blood!

  8. Roue le Jour says:

    When I was a child it used to mystify me how to call someone clever was an insult. Clever clogs, clever Dick, too clever by half. How could a nation that thought stupidity a virtue possibly prosper?

    Now at the other end of my life we see the inevitable consequence. The entire country is run by people who have never been troubled by accusations of cleverness and we are now staring collapse in the face. The imbeciles regard the approaching apocalypse with the same logic as a chicken seeing the farmer’s wife with a cleaver. She’s never killed me before, why should this time be any different?

    We have made enormous advances in engineering and medicine yet our government is still in the dark ages. As our nation grows weaker, politicians prescribe bleeding and yet more leaches. And of course, they want their bill settling while the patient still has the strength to sign a cheque.

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