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“Egyptian official” jumps the shark

Almost literally.

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15 Comments

  1. Lynne says:

    Smells very fishy to me…

  2. NickM says:

    No Mr Bond, I expect you to die!

    Can we organise another climate junket for Lord Prescott in the area? I mean any shark eating that fat bezzler would be bought off for quite some time. I man it would definitely not want to look at the dessert menu or even the cheese board.

  3. NickM says:

    Moreover if the shark doesn’t get a taste of East Yorkshire then Prescott would emerge from the surf in his wetsuit in a manner completely and utterly different to the way Ursula did in that bikini in the movie.

  4. Lynne says:

    Rising from the waves in pretty much the same way a bloke who had just eaten Cthulhu, Cthulhu’s wife and Cthulhu’s three mistresses would?

  5. NickM says:

    I think Counting Cats is developing a Lovecraft Law. Like Godwin’s but it features the Old Ones instead.

  6. Lynne says:

    And why not? How about a cuddly Tentacled One? They even have a cuddly Cthulhu bum bag and, bizarrely, a Cthulhu Christmas wreath too.. :D

  7. NickM says:

    All too eldritch for me.

  8. Lynne says:

    Well, since Prezza mistook the entire tribe for a huge eat all you can calamari buffet it’s all academic now…

  9. NickM says:

    No Lynne,
    This must stop! The very thought of Johnnie and food is nauseating. In so much and so far as he was, to use a phrase bulimic… There is just one thing I don’t understand about Prescott. He started off as a steward on a North Sea Ferry. Who the fuck thought that square peg would fit in the round hole of customer service? Probably the same deranged God who saw fit to make him in charge of a transport ten year plan! In a just universe Prescott wouldn’t be running a fucking whelk stall in Cleethorpes.

  10. Lynne says:

    He couldn’t be run a whelk stall anywhere Nick. In order to run a whelk stall Prezza would have to refrain from cramming the stock down his Humber estuary sized gullet within thirty seconds of taking delivery. I mean, Christ, he can’t even go out on a public engagement without people chucking him eggs to snack on.

    Evil laff.

  11. dfwmtx says:

    Damn Zionist Jews! First they get ahold of the world of finances, then wormed their way into politics, then they got their mitts on Hollywood and the entertainment industry, but who’d expect they took over Seaworld and the study of marine biology? Certainly Helen Thomas didn’t report on this, but I guess she had an older edition of the Protocols.

    ROFLOL

    The part I’m not sure about is how to get this aquatic Jewish angel of death to pass me by. Tradition requires a smearing of lamb’s blood. But this is sharks we’re talking about, so I’m not sure if smearing blood on my wetsuit will get the shark to pass over me or think I’m a tasty meal.

  12. Lynne says:

    How do they know the shark is Jewish? Has it been circumcised? Does it have Greetings from Tel Aviv stamped on its arse?

  13. NickM says:

    I dunno Lynne, but if I were to circumcise a shark (unlikely but you never know…) it’s something I would do very carefully.

  14. David Gillies says:

    What boggles the mind is that Prezza managed to persuade the help to boink him. I mean, can you imagine walking in on him mounting his secretary, enormous pale arse all a-quiver? It doesn’t bear thinking about. It’s straight-up sanity-destroying Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah-nagl ftaghn-level eldritch, that is. I know they say power’s an aphrodisiac, but that explanation would only work for Prescott if he’d been a Babylonian emperor or somesuch, not the bleedin’ Deputy Prime Minister.

  15. NickM says:

    David,
    You are getting very close to being IP banned for even mentioning that horrendous scene. The Marquis De Sade wrote some rum sexual stuff but nothing to that. “Deputy Prime Minister – helping ugly people have sex since Willie Whitelaw”. Frankly I’m with a US presidential candidate from way back who wasn’t doing to well and was asked by the press if he’d though of going a Veep to someone else”. He replied that the vice-presidency was not worth a “pitcher of warm piss”. So God knows what that makes Deputy PM. Christ almighty! Didn’t Blair and Brown give John Reid the Trident codes whilst on holiday! Thank God for small mercies. “Aye up, trouble up mill, was trying to eat a pie whilst shagging a secretary and me scrot-bag pressed the button marked ‘multi-megaton strike on Moscow’”.

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