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“Dark Forces”

I think we have an early contender for arguably the most ludicrous excuse of 2011.

Now we all know the lurid story about former Sky Sports presenters Andy Gray (if true that is sheer class) and Richard Keys and their quite incredibly sexism which frankly would have shamed a ’70s Uzbek sitcom. The simple truth is the two of ‘em had to bite the bullet because… Well, I dunno the figures but in this century anecdotally a very large number of women both watch and take part in football and Gray and Keys are quite simply Cretaceous and embarrassing. It really was that bad. I mean it’s the sort of thing a dodgy uncle says at a wedding after a few too many lagers than are strictly speaking good for him. So on the face of it Gray and Keys heading to the dole office is nothing but a pair of daft twats paying the price of being daft twats who work in the media. I mean if they had said it down the boozer then fine, whatever. Everyone would think them a pair of daft twats but that is hardly against the law otherwise we’d have one hell of a prison over-crowding problem.

Da media is different though because you have to toe the line. Gray was on GBP1.7m and quite frankly for those sponds I would make a plausible case that black was white (unless I was Big Fat Ron, obviously). As a Newcastle fan I think I might even manage it. So they weren’t just sexist (though they were) but completely fucking stupid. I mean you have to be to torch such a job with a rant about how having a womb means you in principle know nowt about footie and base that rant on a female linesman actually getting the call right.

But… Well, lots of people get sacked for being completely fucking stupid. But not Richard Keys… Not that simples (said the meerkat). Richard Keys blamed “Dark Forces” and not simply his own pignorance and idiocy. Dark Forces? All I can say is that fills me with hope. Morgoth, Darth Vader, Satan are now conspiring to get football pundits sacked rather than bring about the downfall of humanity. That’s good, right, because clearly it means the serious bad ‘uns are struggling with the recession same as the rest of us and are having to downsize.

Dark Forces!

Dark Forces? It is truly pathetic. Especially for whatever putative Sauronic power that was allegedly behind this wicked plot. How far indeed have the mighty truly fallen.

7 Comments

  1. Ian B says:

    Bear in mind that the “incredible sexism” by these people, whoever they are[1] would not, even well within our own lifetimes, have raised so much as an eyebrow but just have been considered banter, if impolite. Now it’s some kind of crime against humanity.

    It’s an indicator of how powerfully cultural marxism[2] has infested our society that even libertarians who are supposed to be aware of this kind of stuff are saying things like

    quite incredibly sexism which frankly would have shamed a ’70s Uzbek sitcom. The simple truth is the two of ‘em had to bite the bullet because… Well, I dunno the figures but in this century anecdotally a very large number of women both watch and take part in football and Gray and Keys are quite simply Cretaceous and embarrassing.

    Welcome to the land of the Mutaween, people.

    [1] Can’t stand football myself, silly waste of time.

    [2] In the name of peace in the family[3], let’s go with that definition for now Paul.

    [3] The Northants Peoples Popular Front has to stick together.

  2. NickM says:

    Bollocks Ian.
    Note that the contract was terminated by an employer, not a state agent I made it very clear what I thought the reason was. Women watch Sky Sports. Upsetting a large chunk of your client base is not something employers want from their paid servants. I did say that. More to the point, my basic issue was that I just thought the “dark forces” excuse was just very silly. This was not a serious post.

  3. Lynne says:

    Storm in a teacup. Another blown out of all proportion, ‘slebs behaving badly megabluster taking up far too many front page splashes and column inches while the real dark forces stalking our land continue unabated and largely ignored. Sky spectacularly sacks the gobby bad boys and Newscorp capitalises on the publicity outrage created by the media, which includes itself. Rupe must be laughing all the way to the bank.

  4. Chalcedon says:

    Dark forces are what you get if you try to sue News International, allegedly.

  5. NickM says:

    I thought that was only The Trade Federation Chalcedon.

    “We want the bantha pelt concession…

    “Oh and a Sith Lord ruling the galaxy…”

    The latter is just a rider in the contract.

  6. EndivioR says:

    “Upsetting a large chunk of your client base is not something employers want from their paid servants. ”

    I’d be surprised if any of Sky Sport’s client base was upset. I can’t see any reason why they would be. If someone said on TV that men had no idea how to fry an egg, or some bint asked some bloke on a YouTube video to shove a mike down her bra, I would require extensive rewiring and reprogramming to find myself significantly less than fully gruntled. However, I’ll grant you that why an employer sacks someone is between the employer and that person, and is no one else’s business. I was sacked from a far more important job for liking cats too much (cats, not Cats). Way the cookie crumbles. I’ll also grant you that the Dark Forces comment is a gem. I like reading about people who inhabit Alternative Realities. Kind if gives a lift to my day.

  7. NickM says:

    Endivio,
    That was the point. The “Dark Forces” I don’t exactly believe in don’t sack football pundits, they breed Uruk Hai or invade Poland or work as spin doctors for the Lib Dems or something vile.

    Anyway, I also like cats and indeed have one. Timmy* is a lovely beast – a black and white “tuxedo” cat with spats and everything. If I ever wanted to put something amongst the pigeons here I wouldn’t post, “Islam the Path to the Future or Dark Age Death Cult? You Decide!” but “Are Cats better than Dogs?”. All Hell would erupt with that one.

    *Not my choice of name. He’s sort of inherited and it turns out his original name was Watson which suits him much more.

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