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Happy Halloween!


Unfortunately, this pumpkin I carved last night and put out on display was gone by the morning. Some nameless piece of grit under the foreskin of society has half-inched it. Seriously. The bastards!

And this isn’t a rough area by any means. Where I used to live the fuckers would have hurled it through the front window to add injury to injury.

Utter scum. It took me quite a bit of effort to turn a pumpkin into the semblance of a Japanese Kabuki mask. And Goddamit that was my bloody pumpkin on my property and quite frankly it’s well past time we brought back the birch.

This was just going to be a Happy Halloween message to all our readers but I’m mad as hell because theft is theft and I’m narked. To nick somebody’s Halloween pumpkin the night before Halloween is lower than the Dead Sea. I hope whoever is responsible for this perfidious act develops a rather cheeky case of rectal gangrene.

The complete and utter cunts.


  1. CountingCats says:

    Damn good effort on your part as well.

  2. “Bring back the birch”? I say bring back the Gibbet, the Stocks and the Gallows. And for good measure bring back the Treadmill and Hard Labour for Prisoners too.

  3. RAB says:

    Yeah he isn’t just a pretty Astrophyicist is he!

    Love the treadmill idea Mild Colonial Boy.
    Very green! Just what we need when the EU closes down our power stations.

    We have so many prisoners over here that the Prisons are just about full.
    So half a dozen prisoners on a treadmill in the basement would keep my lights on nicely!

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