Unfortunately, this pumpkin I carved last night and put out on display was gone by the morning. Some nameless piece of grit under the foreskin of society has half-inched it. Seriously. The bastards!
And this isn’t a rough area by any means. Where I used to live the fuckers would have hurled it through the front window to add injury to injury.
Utter scum. It took me quite a bit of effort to turn a pumpkin into the semblance of a Japanese Kabuki mask. And Goddamit that was my bloody pumpkin on my property and quite frankly it’s well past time we brought back the birch.
This was just going to be a Happy Halloween message to all our readers but I’m mad as hell because theft is theft and I’m narked. To nick somebody’s Halloween pumpkin the night before Halloween is lower than the Dead Sea. I hope whoever is responsible for this perfidious act develops a rather cheeky case of rectal gangrene.
The complete and utter cunts.