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Not the wedding of the century.

On the BBC News this morning was the story about Ed Miliband marrying his long-term girlfriend.

It’s hardly Watergate is it?

Anyway, the BBC assured us it’s the second most important wedding this year.

Anyway, the wedding of the pico-second is at some gaff that does weddings in Nottinghamshire and doesn’t feature Pippa Middleton’s arse* in a supporting role. But the BBC had an OB team there with some rain-swept shivering reporter who imparted this breathless intelligence about the post-nuptial feast:

“Asparagus to start, lamb for the main but we don’t know what the dessert is yet!”

Rather than have Laura Kuenssberg going through the bins like an urban fox to find the empty packs of Angel Delight they went straight onto Libya or the G8 or that Serbian cunt or Cheryl Cole or other such nonsense.

All due to the unique way the BBC is funded. I want to know the dessert. I demand to know! I don’t want things happening in the land of Johnny Foreigner impinging upon the time the BBC can devote to some bloke getting married and what he had for afters.

For shame! They didn’t even send Gordon Burns (BBC Manchester – remember the “Krypton Factor”? when I got married and I could have been on North West Tonight between a race riot in Oldham and an amusing dog. I’d have treasured that DVD.

This is all due to the unique way the BBC is funded. The cunts.

*It does feature Justine Thornton’s arse. She calls it “Ed”.


  1. RAB says:

    Smallpiece, at the Fail has had some fun with this one…

    And when I got married Richard Branson sent me a crate of Champagne for reviewing a Steve Hillage gig the night before, in leu of a Stag do.

    Well what did I want with a Stag night? Every night is Party Night, round our house! :-)

  2. Lynne says:

    Fruitcake sounds about right.

  3. Sam Duncan says:

    She calls it “Ed”.

    Pow! Every one a Maserati!

  4. ftumch says:

    I was gonna make a comment about Nero fiddling while Gordon Burns, but… man: “Oh, no! Steve Hillage!!”

  5. Cascadian says:

    Who cares!

    I want to know why Tony Bliar and Gordon B Ruin were not in attendance.

  6. JuliaM says:

    If I were director of the Beeb, it would have merited a single line of the ‘And finally..’ type.

    Something along the lines of: ‘And finally, Ed Miliband’s offspring are no longer bastards. Unlike their father…’

  7. RAB says:

    Has anyone else noticed that when Ed tries to smile, he looks like the late Bernie Winters?

  8. Anonomous vomit says:

    “some bloke getting married and what he had for afters.”

    Don’t make me vomit.

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