She’s a bit of an old dog herself these days, and no high kicking dancer like Betty Boothroyd either, but she was a right goer in her day, shagged her way through the entire staff of Oz and International Times magazines back in her Hippy hayday. But yes Germaine Greer is barking again, here.
What is it about the Hay on Wye Festival, a gathering of the Glitterati Literati, held in a small town on the border between Wales and England, that has no butchers or bakers shops, but about 4000 second hand bookshops, that brings out the bonkers in our Great and Good?
Yesterday we had Stephen Fry promising to top himself, with the due dread and sympathy that was supposed to instil in us mere Plebs. Well sorry Steve baby, you were magnificent in Jeeves and Wooster, borne to play Wilde, and QI could not be done without you in the chair, but if you feel like that, then off you go. I for one, do not find you a national Treasure, more like a sneering, condescending, rich as Croesus, pain in someone else’s arse.
But I digress, back to being Germaine…
Greer has a bluebell wood you see, and she thinks that the biggest threat to Bluebells is dog faeces. It is rich in Phosphorous apparently, which is fatal to the little blighters.
Do Foxes, Badgers, Deer and squirrels not shit in the woods then dear? Why arn’t they rich in Phosporous?
Well I seem to be sitting on a nice little earner with my bonkers Springer Spaniel then don’t I? I always scoop the poop, but instead of throwing it away I may be able to start up a match Factory, or a dietary supplement business(Phosporous is a vital for good health).And of course we can all see where those inconsiderate dog owners have let their pooches poop and not cleaned it up can’t we? Just take a walk through the park at twilight and there it all is, glowing in the dark!
“If you love Bluebells, Kill your dog!”
Nice one Germaine! Guaranteed headline grapper for an old, sad Intellectual slapper like you! I always think that if you want to read an aging polemical contrarian, you are better off with Julie Burchill, at least she’s funny half the time.
Thing is that Germaine’s “Wood” has been through many incarnations over the years. I read an article by her in the Telegraph (no Leftie snob she, when there is a hefty fee involved) around the time our wonderful Coagulation wanted to sell off our woodlands, and she agreed!
She basically said that she wished she’d never started with it in the first place. The first lot of experts she got in planted the wrong trees and they died, the next lot planted ones the Deer had for breakfast, and on and on. Now we get this Bullshit, er… dogcrap, because she’s managed to grow a wood that basically grew itself.
Bluebells are not, repeat NOT a threatened species.
Still, let’s be thankful that she’s not one of the Greenie Malthusian Candidates (yet) or gawd knows what she’d be advocating…
Cull a Granny for Gaia, perhaps?