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Last night we found out who River Song is.

I have updated because it has come to my attention that BBC America shows this a week later than we get it. So spoilers sweetie, spoilers…

Sort of. So she’s the Pond’s daughter. Well I can’t say I didn’t see that coming. It of course doesn’t even begin to answer any other questions about Dr Song.

And it was a magnificent episode.

And I will tell you why. It featured a sword-wielding Victorian lesbian reptile who had just killed Jack the Ripper. Now that sounds like a RTD device after he’s had too much cheese before bed-time. But in Moffat’s hands it worked.

And then the master-stroke. The Doctor will return in September in “Let’s kill Hitler”


  1. RAB says:

    Yep, great episode, but Rory is looking well pissed off, isn’t he? His daughter turns out to be a Time Lord? How’d that happen Doctor??? “I never touched her lad, honest! You spent your wedding night on the Tardis and it sort of rubbed off…”

    I reckon Moffat has been plundering Flan O’Brian’s The Third Policeman for that one.

  2. I think he plundered pretty much everything for this episode.

    For example, the plot with the not quite human child has resonances with Speilberg’s ‘Taken’, while the CGI on Demons Run was pretty much any Star Wars base. He’s continuing in RTD’s path with that of course. Remember the Cyberwomen in the basement of Torchwood, who was more or less lifted straight from any 1930s pulp magazine cover?

    Still a brilliant episode.

  3. Oh – and presumably the child who regenerated in an earlier episode is also River Song/Melody Pond – and from the heavy hints last night so is the child in the space suit – but wouldn’t she remember? And aren’t there rules of space and time which stop you meeting yourself?

    Looking forward to the autumn.

  4. Chuckles says:

    River Song, Pond, are they channeling the Phoenix family here?

  5. RAB says:

    Well just as long as it’s not the Flatley family!

    Though I can just picture Amy, hands rigid to her sides, giving it a right old clogging to Riverdance. :-)

  6. Laird says:

    Here in the US (at least, where I live) we seem to be week behind on the Doctor Who episodes. We just saw the second part of the “Gangers” episode last night (I wasn’t impressed, frankly; too blatantly preachy, like a RTD episode). We’ll get the one you’re talking about next Saturday. Thanks for the spoilers!

  7. Lynne says:

    What puzzles me is that if the name on the cradle was Gallifreyan for River Song and not Melody Pond (which brought about that sudden change in mood), how come the Doctor was clueless as to the identity of the adult River Song? Or did I miss something?

    Okay, yeah, I’m still watching the damn programme…

  8. NickM says:

    Well the Dr is sort of getting to know River backwards. The Pond sprog is not actually a Pond. I just say that because the Dr winds Rory up by calling him Pond. He’s actually Williams. He actually made quite a point on that score in the last episode.

  9. CountingCats says:

    When I saw the spoiler warning I went away. Just seen the episode now, via the wonders of bittorrent, so came straight here.

    What a crappy episode.

    So River turns up and just tells him? So what? It is not as if the story line lead up to it or anything, that sequence was just plonked in for the hell of it.

    In fact, the surrealism of this last series could have made it one of the great TV programs of all time, but the execution just hasn’t lived up to the promise.

  10. Chalcedon says:

    Ah, it’s the heart of the Tardis to blame yet again, for it is alive! Great episode indeed. The Silurians have come a long way since Pertwee’s day! Let’s Kill Hitler has been done in sci fi many times. I wonder how he will make this one different? Cracking stuff!

    And filleting the cybermen and their fleet was class.

  11. Bod says:

    Lots of ‘matters arising’ in the epsisode. My 13 year old (Catholic American) kid rolled her eyes at the ‘gay Anglican Marines’ – she’s so utterly fed up with all the Gay Rights crap her school and friends throw at her, but she really punched the air at Rory’s transformation at the start of Ep7. She’s a bit too young to have figured out quite what’s going on with he psyche, but she’d jump Arthur Darvill’s bones in a New York Second if she understood her libido.

    All that was really missing from that scene was a line about chewing gum and kicking butt.

    The Big Reveal, well, yeah, even she figured that one out, but overall, it wasn’t a bad ‘half series’. Which leads me to my question, somewhat off topic.

    We get these scares regularly about the series being axed. It’s hugely popular, and allegedly costs about a million an episode, which to my untutored ear makes it sound like it’s costs are more than remaking an episode of “The Good Life”, but less than 45 minutes of a series like The Forsythe Saga. Maybe on a par with an episode of Sharpe or Hornblower.

    The thing is that I find it hard to believe that the DVD sales and rentals of Dr Who will generate less revenue than – say “The Buccaneers”. So my thesis is that the Beeb’s whining about cancelling The Doctor is in the same category as Police and Fire departments complaining about Anarchy Returning! should their budgets being cut – i.e. utter bullshit; merely scare tactics.

    Or is the good Doctor actually a loss leader/marginal proposition as the BBC claims?

  12. NickM says:

    The re-booted Dr Who 2.0 can be preachy but not on gay rights. It’s actually very not. It has gay characters but that is hardly the same thing. I think, for all his sins RTD having homosexual characters without making it a plot-point was a master-stroke. You want preachy on gay rights. Look at the soaps. Pretty much every gay or lesbian character in ‘stenders or Corrie or Brookside has been some sort of tortured soul. But that is real and Dr Who is fantasy. Sorry, I have to disagree. Psychologically, emotionally Dr Who is much more real than the soaps. Their humdrum settings only accentuate their psychopathology.

    As to cancellation. There is no way the BBC can realistically claim Dr Who isn’t profitable. I just think they don’t like it. Look at the scheduling shifts. They don’t know what the show is. It makes them uncomfortable. OK let’s crunch numbers. A million quid an episode sounds about right. That’s 13 million a series for a show that regularly gets half that many viewers in the UK alone. Conservatively double that for worldwide and ignore DVDs and merchandising and such and if Dr Who had to be directly funded by it’s viewers you are looking at a quid a series each. And do you know a single Whovian who wouldn’t pony the dough? That is why the BBC hates it. It could easily exist without the unique way the BBC is funded. The BBC hates the idea that it has a show that could be run on commercial TV at a profit. It undermines their public service remit.

    And the godawful 1980s soap “Howard’s Way” cost about half a mill a pop (mainly on shoulder pads). And that was 25 years ago. That was money pissed-up the wall alright.

  13. Bod says:

    Oh, well, the gay bit marched right up to the border, and annexed the state of absurd. You’re right in that it was hardly tut-tut-worthy.

    I’m in a wierd situation on that issue in the house – SWMBO is a fine woman, but is awfully – ‘staid’ – on the whole about any homo stuff, and is concerned about the prospects of the daughter being ‘exposed’ to the rigors of mano-a-mano bed wrestling. Me? I reckon she’s already pretty well informed, theoretically, about the whole business and I doubt Torchwood would make her bat an eyelid. She’s in a class full of of incipient diesel dykes and nascent catamites anyway. They probably compare notes.

    Tonight, SWMBO insisted on seeing the show, because she’d been getting it in the ear for the last few days about how exciting it was, and she too found the ‘mincing marines’ pretty harmless compared with some of the stuff the kids have accidentally been exposed to on US network TV. The screen remained on, undamaged, the whole 40-odd minutes, so I guess it passed the sniff test.

    So everything’s good with the world, and we can continue to ponder the practicalities of the Face of Boe getting it on with Novice Hame.

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