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A Name…


That is very far from good. And it is not the answer.

Picture the event. It’s 2012 and Stepping Hill Hospital and my wife has a C-section and I have to go off and register the birth. It’s a girl.

What do I call her?

I have posted about 1000 posts here. My wife and I don’t actually want children but but last night we both knew exactly what we would call the daughter we won’t have. I reckon you, dear reader, know me well enough to guess her name.

And it isn’t “River” or “Kylie” though both have tempted me, So has “Katherine”. My wife’s middle name is “Kate”.

Now you know the odd thing. I reckon you’ll get it. I reckon you have read enough of me to know who she won’t be.

It’s a rather unusual name but not a chav one. And this is a huge clue. It is not the obvious one.


  1. Kevin B says:

    Nicola Alberta Maximilia Neilsia? M.

  2. View from the Solent says:

    Nikola was my first thought too, but Tesla would be unusual and certainly unchavvy.

  3. RAB says:

    Debbie Lightning M has a nice ring to it.

  4. Roue le Jour says:

    I’m not suggesting this is your choice, but I always thought Bethe would be a nice girls name.

    PS. It does sound like beta, right?

  5. View from the Solent says:

    R le J,
    that reminds me of an anecdote, can’t remember the source.
    Alpher and Gamow were collaborating on a paper and persuaded Bethe to add his name to it. Thus the authors were Alpher, Bethe, Gamow.

  6. NickM says:

    True story. The paper was about cosmology. Hence the joke.

    I shall re-iterate the puzzle. My wife and I came up with it simultaneously. She is a linguist and I am mathematically ept so who do you think we have read? And it is not the obvious one.

    As to Nikola. Good guess. But if I was SteveM maybe but one thing I would never do is feminise my own name. I’m Nick so I couldn’t even conceive of a Nikola. Though Tesla is a cool name. That is seriously cool. But then I studied in East London so I kinda thought “Stepney”would be a cool name. I mean the world is full of Chelseas. Even Chelsys.

    Oddly enough I only got to realise I really liked my name when I was about 20. I read some of those old Greek cats and I went to Greece and I saw the temple of Athina Nike in Athens – which is sort of where my name comes from. The Greeks had three Gods of war. Ares, the god of slaughter;, Athina the goddess of strategy and Athina Nike the Goddess of victory. I think the Duke of Wellington said in warfare there is no substitute for victory. Of course. Otherwise it is just maiming and killing to no practical end.

  7. Fred Thrung says:

    Ada? As in friend of Babbage.

  8. JonB says:

    I’m guessing that Lewis Carroll would be the obvious author, but Alice isn’t exactly an unusual name. Can’t think of any non-obvious ones at this moment.

  9. View from the Solent says:

    Hmm. Does your wife read French prose? Pascal(e) springs to mind.

  10. Kevin B says:

    Logically it could be Georgina, but I’m going with Eudoxia.

  11. DeNihilist says:


  12. NickM says:

    You’re close. It’s Sylvie. Of course nobody reads the great heffalump of a book that is “Sylvie and Bruno”.

  13. Tony C says:

    As a new reader/lurker of this blog I’d just thought I’d note the coincidence that I (fairly) recently had a daughter at Stepping Hill hospital.

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