Following on from the cucumbers of (non)-calamity and the beansprouts of buggeration we now have the orange juice of obesity.
MILLIONS of people are putting their health at risk after research showed that natural fruit juice is so packed with sugar it can be addictive.
Drinking just two glasses a day could give people a “sweet tooth”, making them crave calorie-packed food, a study claimed yesterday. Experts are so concerned they are even calling for juice drinks to be taxed in a bid to curb Britain’s growing obesity epidemic.
Dr Hans-Peter Kubis, who led the study, said: “This has serious implications for public health. The research shows how few sweet foodstuffs are required to actually change your taste perceptions and how powerful sweet- tasting products are.
“We are heading for a multi-level health disaster with rising obesity levels and the increasing incidence of type 2 diabetes.”
Pure fruit juice, as well as carbonated drinks and cordials, are all “too high in sugar and too sweet”, the study found.
Given there is no safe level of alcohol consumption, milk contains animal fats, tea and coffee contain evil caffeine and now all soft drinks turn you into Billy Bunter what pray tell Herr Doktor can we drink? dihydrogen monoxide?
But it was a “study” so it must be true! Err… no. Listen to this gem…
Researchers say it is the first time such a link has been established.
And it is not just the overweight who are susceptible. The study found that people who are slim and active also risk developing a sweet tooth after having just two sugary drinks every day for a month.
So, do they still remain “slim and active”? I suspect so because two glasses of orange juice a day is hardly unusual and lots of the slim and active” drink that for decades whilst remaining “slim and active”. So your point Herr Doctor is?
But wait, it get’s worse!
Low or zero-calorie drinks with artificial sweeteners do not solve the problem as they only encourage people to over-eat at the next opportunity to make up for the calories missing in the beverage.
Herr Doctor, I hereby nominate you for winner of “Voodoo Science 2011″. We used to execute witches. Time to re-instate that law I feel.
Meanwhile, in case you’re worried about the evils of orange juice I suggest you follow my prescription for a nutritious breakfast. Wrap a sausage in cheese and deep fry it. Wash it down with half a pint of gin and finish with a cigar. That’s at least as sensible as Herr Doktor’s sorcery.